Thursday, December 31, 2009

So, yeah, I haven't posted for over a week now...and it's mainly cause I'm so stressed and upset these days that I just don't want to expend that upon other people!

I've decided that I hate being pregnant...I just don't feel like me bugs me...

Life never seems to go up for us anymore..I guess I should just stop expecting it to...

Tonight, we're supposed to hit a couple house parties/get-togethers and then a kegger at our favorite bar..but I'm really not feeling up to it anymore...I guess we'll see how well I can get "dolled up" tonight and maybe that'll lift my spirits!


Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Flow, Tow, Snow, and Mo'

First off, Erica inquired about Steven's job in a comment on my last post...reply: He passed through their background check and is taking the polygraph next Wednesday. After that, they'll do a drug test and physical and the academy starts the beginning of February!!! So, basically, yes he has the job so's just a long, long waiting game!

Next, last night we got our truck towed from what we thought was a proper visitor's parking area at Steven's mom's apartments. It took an hour to find the security guard at the apartments only to have him treat us like we were pieces of poo!!! My parents had to be there in order to pay the money to get the truck from impound...and we just kind of went rounds with them. I really don't want to get into it because I'm frustrated beyond words!

Third, It's SNOWING...and not just "la-la-la-there's flakes"...but like "BAM! Have 6 inches overnight!" snowing...I LOVE IT! :) I was kind of feeling bummed that we wouldn't have a great, white Christmas and then it happened....beautiful....*sigh*

Numero quatro, I'm attempting to take a new picture of my belly while I'm here at work so I can's proving a little difficult without a mirror...but I'm determined!!!!!! AH-HA...GOT ONE!

Here ya go (the one from earlier and today's!):

There's not a HUGE difference...but it seems....rounder...and higher up! Guess we'll see how it changes in the next couple weeks!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Please get here Christmas!!!

So, honestly, truly, I could really use a warm, cuddly holiday like Christmas right now!!! Luckily, I'm having these feelings with it just around the corner!!

I guess the whole mix of economy, hormones, and stress is getting to me...Anyone else???

I think I'll go eat a candy cane now...

Friday, December 18, 2009



Thursday, December 17, 2009

Mini-vacation, doctors, and feelings of inadequacy...

Well, my little mini-vacation was awesome!!! It was sooooo nice to be at home! I really, really, REALLY loved so much that (I can't believe I'm going to say this) I would love to be a stay at home mom!!! I'd probably keep my job and just work the minimum hours needed to get the work done (like 3 hours a day) so that I can keep my sanity and have some fun money! But, honestly, my house looks amazing...I feel much more rested...and I just feel more complete when I'm given time to be at home.

My doctor's appointment went well! Sarah went with me and she was soooo excited the whole time, it was really cute! They weighed me and somehow in all my french fry fiending I've lost 3 lbs! The doctor said she wasn't too concerned about it because I don't need to gain but around 15 lbs...but as long as it doesn't continue to go that way! I know I don't eat enough food as it is...and I'm trying to increase that! But also, I thought of this afterwards, I'm not as constipated as I once I think that has A LOT to do with it! :) Anywho, we then got to hear the heartbeat again (Sarah's favorite part) and it was around 146...slowing even more than last month!!! Which, according the wives tales, means it's probably a boy! My next appointment is Jan 12 and hopefully we'll schedule the ultrasound to find the gender at that point!

Now...lastly, its kind of a touchy subject in my relationship, but it has been on my mind alllll day today! Steven loves me...for me...etc. I don't doubt that. But now that I'm pregnant he seems to compare me to his ex-wife a lot! I understand that's his only experience with the whole thing and of course there's going to be some comparisons...but the way he tells me things always makes me feel like I have to be just like her! I know I'm cranking and bitchy and all-together not a nice person to him a lot of the time..and he always reminds me that he told me that I won't be able to be comfortable sleeping, that I won't be happy at all for a few more weeks, etc.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I'm not her..and I really don't want to be her...I want to be me...and I want the chance to be me and be pregnant without feeling like I need to be as strong as she was...or as nice as she was...blah blah blah. I don't really know how to tell Steven this sort of thing...I know he means well, he really really does...but it hurts my feelings a lot because I want to feel like I'm going through this the first time just the way I'm supposed to. Not feel like I I'm not allowed to be the way I am because she wasn't...

Now I'm just being redundant...whatever...

Monday, December 14, 2009

Le bump, days off, scared...

Ha, there I go again, laundry list....

So, I said that I was forgetful the other day and didn't snap a shot of my baby bump...but I have one now. I'm going to do a pic from my photoshoot in August for comparison because otherwise I'm not sure you can tell a difference...oh and forgive the fact that I, again, had a pregnancy brain moment and wore a black shirt with my dark shower curtain behind and yada-yada-yada..the photo is just crap to me! :)

I'm not really sure if you can tell a difference...but BELIEVE's bigger! And I think it's bigger since I took that last shot...but we'll give it another few days before I put up another!
So, tomorrow I have a prenatal appointment...not really sure what they're going to do besides the normal check ups. Sarah is going with me because she wants to hear the heartbeat! :) She's so excited about's funny! Then after that, I have the whole day off of work and Wednesday too!!! You have no idea how excited I am about this!!! Not to mention, I still had one more day to kill before the end of the year so I took the Monday after Christmas off giving me a wonderful, well-deserved 4 day weekend!!! WHEW!
Now, I have to say that my "scared" status is kind of hand in hand with my "excited" state too. Steven is going through that whole interview/testing process to become a corrections officer at the county jail. His test went well a couple weeks back and today he had his phone interview. He called telling me that it went amazing and that he got a 98 on it and they told him he's exactly what they're looking for!!! WONDERFUL! But....I guess I'm scared because we did put a lot on the school job a few months back and it seemed "in the bag"...but wasn't. And now, we're kind of banking on this job working out...but what if it doesn't??? I mean, we won't be worse off than we already are..but I'm so ready for someone to take care of me for help me really get my life in order once again!
I'm so tired of ignoring phone calls, making minimum payments that don't even take care of the interest, of stressing myself out and losing sleep...I'm just tired...
But anywho...I'll see ya back here in a couple days!

Christmas Questions...

1.Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
Hot Chocolate

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
Santa just leaves them in our stockings

3. Colored lights on the tree/house or white.
White or blue

4. Do you hang mistletoe? Nope..maybe I should

5. When do you put up your decorations? Usually the beginning of December...but I'm slacking this year, because we've been rearranging the whole house!

6. What is your favorite holiday dish? Pasole on Christmas Eve

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child? Waking my brother up or vice versa so we could go to the stockings together! Then waking up my parents after we'd snooped a bit!

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I'm not really sure...I think I just had the suspicion and went with it...

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas eve? Nope

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? I have a little silver tree that I put bright glass balls on...that's really it!

11. Snow. Love it? or Dread it? Love it!

12. Can you ice skate? Not very well!

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? Hmm...that's a toughy...

14. What's the most important thing about the holidays to you? Spending time with family

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert? Pie

16. What tops your tree? Usually an angel

17. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving? Neither...I'm not much of a gift person

18. What is your favorite Christmas song? Hmm...White Christmas

19. Candy Canes, Yuck or Yum? Pretty much my favorite candy EVER

20. Favorite Christmas Show? White Christmas

21. Saddest Christmas Song? Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer

If your reading this, feel free to have a go at it, just leave me a message that you are going to so I can have a peek!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Call backs, nostrils, and naps...

First off, I think it's funny how I generally make my blog titles a laundry list of the things I'm going to talk about...I guess it forewarns everyone of the hub-bub you're about to experience!


Call, at night, I put my phone on "alarm only" because I hate being interrupted in sleep by some obnoxious forward text that really has no bearing to the dream I'm enjoying at that point in time! Well, this morning, in my phone's "alarm only" state we got a phone call..when I looked at the number and saw it was local and not some annoying bill collector reminding me that I'm dirt poor and can't pay my bills..I got a little excited! I listened to the voicemail and got even more excited because it was the Sheriff's office calling to talk to Steven. After his test the other day, they told him that if he makes it through the test they'll call; if he doesn't, they'll e-mail!! Well, a PHONE CALL is a very good sign!!! ANYWHO...I tell Steven and we lay back down. I'm fiddling with my phone when the same number pops I wake him up so he can answer the silly phone call!!! All I can say, is if they called twice in 30 minutes then they must REALLY want him in there! :) WHOOHOO!!!

Now for my stinkin' nostrils...I'm riddled with the wonderful symptom of pregnancy called pregnancy rhinitis! Sounds like I'm making something up, right? Well, I'm not!! The increased blood flow swells the sinuses and makes your nose stuffed the ENTIRE time you're pregnant...Ew, I know!'s like booger city in there and I snore so much more now! Well, to add insult to injury, in the second trimester that increased blood flow becomes nose bleeds and nastiness...sooooo as we speak I'm hawkin' down loogies the size of SUV's and trying not to gag as they slide down my throat! (I'm so not a spitter!) And all I want to do is BREATH normal!!!

Speaking of breathing normal (and this is not on the "laundry list"), since my baby is moving up above my pelvic bone it's taking more room from my other organs..namely, my lungs! I'm in a terrible spot when I walk up the stairs at work now to change the daily server tape! I almost have to stop and take a really deep breath half-way through! So, I think I'll employ those band lung capacity exercises I learned about 8 years ago and try to get my breathing back in order!

Now, this morning, (and yes, I sleep all morning as it is) I was about to take a short 20 minute power nap before getting up to get ready when something woke me from the INSIDE! Okay, it's not that was the baby moving again! I was laying on my right side, which usually I've been on my left through the night (they say it's better), dozing off, when I felt the moved and plumb woke me up like the daylight! When I told Steven that it happened he replied in his overly compassionate state, "Well, get used to it!"...gee, thanks..I don't already know this...haha OH WELL!

Okey...I wish I had something to show a belly pic...which I'd plan to do..but in my lack of brain cells due to "pregnancy brain" (not making it up either, many women claim it happens) I forgot to stand my chubby butt up in front of the mirror to take a picture!!! So, about a cute one of Hercules asleep with his paws over his nose!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

One year...

So, one year ago, on a Decemember Monday night, I was enjoying a round of karaoke at one of my favorite singing spots close to home. I was socializing with the people I'd met over the past couple months through singing and ended up having to "save" a boy.

Well, this saving took place like this:

  • Saw fairly attractive boy being stalked by CRAZY nasty girl

  • My friend and I decided to go talk to him to make CRAZY girl jealous (insert evil laugh)

  • He tells us that she's throwing herself all over him and he hates it

  • Asks to be "saved"

  • So we hang on him...until she leaves...

  • My friend decides whatever, I'm moving on to talk to other people now

  • I start to talk to boy....we talk...

  • He uses this pick up line: "so, you got a number?"

  • I reply, "What???"

  • He says, "oh I see how it is..."

  • I say, "No, really it's loud in here what did you say? Did you ask if I have a number?"

  • End up giving him my number...and a ride my house...haha

Well, that night he learned my name...Kendra Payne...easy enough (well, I'm used to it!). The next morning, all he could remember was "Payne" because he liked it so much (figures, he's a football player and a cage fighter...why wouldn't he like that?!). I made fun of him, reminded him of my first name, and drove him home before I went to work.

Fast forward a year later, we live together...have a dog...and I'm pregnant with his child. Funny how things work! :)

Okay, on other news, I REALLY, FOR SURE felt the baby last night when I was in a warm bath!!! :) Now, TMI really, but I had gas...and I was laying there, would pass gas, knowing how that felt...but then I would move a little and then I'd feel what I would normally think is just another gas bubble on it's way through my intestines or bowels and then nothing would happen! I started to pay attention to the differences in order to decipher...and I realized that the bubbles were a little higher and nothing "exploded" afterwards!!! :) OOOOHHHH BABY!!!

Here's where we are in development:

Thursday, December 3, 2009


Ok, here's where y'all get to put in your two cents...

Here's my pregnancy symptoms thus far:
  • slight morning sickness for 3-4 weeks
  • gained 6lbs so far
  • tons of lower back/sciatic pain already
  • had one girl dream and the rest have been boy
  • very very tired
  • nails growing fast and are much stronger
  • skin was a little bad at first but is now fairly clear
  • no outrageous cravings...just normal things like french fries, ice cream, taco bell, sub sandwiches (and not all together!)
  • repulsed by onions and chicken

As far as the medical things go:

  • heart rate was at 160 then slowed to 152
  • moves a lot - kicking, waving
  • blood pressure and everything is normal for me judging by that, or even just by the two ultrasounds I've got, what do you predict the gender will be!?!?!??!?! Give me your explanation too ;)

(First one is at 8 weeks, second is at 9 wks 4 days...I'm now 14 weeks 3 days)

Bald heads, Christmas wishes, Baby pains, and more...

This a LONG post...fair if you don't want to read it...well, then POO on you...if you care to spend a portion of your time with me...then THANKS! (it really doesn't matter either way..just so you know)

ANYWHO...I promised a while back to post a picture dealing with Steven's bald head...well, here ya go!

Sooo, which do you like better??? HAIR OR NO HAIR???
Next, I've never really been one to actually WISH for something at Christmas time. I was always thankful for the things that I'd gotten over the year and didn't fiend for much when it came down to the holiday season. Well, this year, I think it's a bit different!!! I'm really, okay like REALLY, wanting a digital camera. I've had two...both died...and I'm not talking like some cheap whatever camera (which I'd be happy with too) but like a NIKON D60 camera...something that I could really, really use for a while and capture some great images!
Third, I've been having terrible pains in my tummy as the round ligaments and my uterus stretches and grows...really just not pleasant at all!!! It's like sharp pains...and then, I don't even know how to explain it! I just hope it calms down soon...knowing my luck this baby will be HUGE and I'm just going to hurt allllll the time! Steven's first two kids were 9 and 10lb I'm pretty scared!!! (Granted their mom is much taller than I am!)
Another thing about baby, I'm wondering if I'm definitely turning into my mom when she was pregnant. All her pain was in her back and hips..and I'm feeling like I've got 20 extra pounds to carry around just on my lower back. It hurts a lot..and, of course, I get the words from Steven that I just need to be tough and that his ex never complained like I do...well, gee, did he stop to think we might be completely different people with completely different experiences?!?!?! Hmm..that would just make too much sense!!! WHATEVER...just one of those days...
Lets see, I think on the next post I'm going to do a blog poll on what people think the gender of my baby is going to be!!! We'll be finding out after the new year more than likely, but I'm curious to see what people are thinking with all the symptoms and what not I've been having! :)

Monday, November 30, 2009

Parties, 14 weeks, and chemo...

Friday went well...the whole group pretty much smokes so they spent a majority of the time out in the garage while I just hung out inside. I really didn't mind, it gave me a chance to just relax a bit.

TODAY...I'm officially into the 2nd trimester...14 weeks!! I'm so excited! I just hope the rest of the time goes fast now...haha

Yesterday we found out that one of our friends who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer is already in stage 4 and has started chemotherapy. Its really too bad that they caught it so late and it had already spread. She's so her late 30's...and has kids at home...I just hope the chemo at least slows it all down for her! Sadly, one of her kidneys has already shut down...not a good sign...

Friday, November 27, 2009

Black Friday...

I'm so happy that I don't partake in the craziness that is "Black Friday"...there are, seriously, some scary events that go on out there! I don't understand how people can go so bat-crazy over deals...

I guess I just look at things as I'll get what I want at regular price like a week before Christmas because I've saved the money for it and it'll mean more! I don't know...just don't understand BLACK FRIDAY!

My Thanksgiving was enjoyable. We had a houseful of people at my mom's house...complete with laughter, full tummies, and naps! Oh, and don't forget football...where the Denver Bronco's have temporarily redeemed themselves!!! THANK GOODNESS!

Tonight, we're heading down to Denver for Steven's cousin's birthday party, get together thing! I, honestly, can't wait!!! I love his family and always have a GREAT time around them! Granted we haven't seen most of them since January...and I was super new to the whole thing because we'd only been together for a month! haha but now we're approaching a year and so I think I'm more a "keeper" now! haha (at least I hope!)

Anywho, Pandora is playing Carrie Underwood's new CD and I'm pretty sure I WILL buy it very soon because I love all the songs I've heard already! AND, well, I just love her..haha

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Do you ever get those moments when everything just stops in your racing brain and you realize what's really going on around you?!?!

Today has been one of those days...

  • I have a friend struggling with her family life and I can't shed enough advice to her to make her feel better....
  • My "mother-in-law" is stressing out majorly and taking it out on Steven for no reason...making his life pretty much a living hell...
  • My entire dad's side of the family has had ONE reaction to me being pregnant...and that is "oh my..."
  • I'm starving...and not in the "shoot-I-forgot-to-eat-breakfast" way, but in the fact that we have zero money to really buy good food and are living off potatoes...
I'm not really sure what to do...

Pretty lost in my thoughts today...

Monday, November 23, 2009

Yada yada yada...

So, Sorry...I know..everything has been far too deep for people to really relate to in the past few, lets get quirky Kendra back out for once!!! :)

How about a few IN's and OUT's...haven't done that in a while!

  • Mom bought me a Graco Pack N Play for baby!! It's a bassinet, playpen, and changing station all in one!
  • Steven shaved his head again! He's bald as all bald can be like when I met him! It's one of those...crazy, sexy things...haha, not that I didn't like him with hair! I'll have to post some pics in the next couple days so y'all can see the difference! (Maybe vote on which is better!)
  • I'm eating a delicious fudge brownie!!! YUMMY!
  • I'm 13 weeks pregnant today...means one..more...stinkin...week...and I'll be out of the first trimester officially!!! So, super excited about have no idea! haha
  • We're going to Denver this friday to hang out with a bunch of Steven's family! I haven't seen them since January and I had so much fun last time we were all together!

Ok, I think that'll do for some IN'


  • The stinkin' acid reflux I'm having ALLLLL day today!
  • My sciatic nerve ALREADY acting up! Makes my right hip hurt soooo bad!
  • Still being poor...but hey, what'cha gonna do!?
  • The wind blowing today like crazy...I love the cool weather...the snow...but I hate, hate, HATE the wind!

Alrighty, I'm soooo glad my IN's outweight my OUT's...haha..that's nice! :)

Wanna know something I super, duper excited about?!?!!??! THANKSGIVING....Are you kidding me..any reason to get together with family and eat massive amounts of mashed potatoes and stuffing gets an A+ in my book!!! OMG...I'm salavating just thinking about it...haha

On that note, here's a blog I read today that is a MUST READ...I'm not kidding you...if you've ever felt like your body just ticks you off...then please please please read it! THANKS!

Body Love by Ex Hot Girl

Thursday, November 19, 2009

My path...revisited...

Did you ever start your high school career or college career with a definite plan...something to follow...a path only to have it COMPLETELY change in the course of a few years??? I certainly have...and I'm sitting inside...working the same mindless job for nearly 3 years...asking myself, "Where in the f*$# did my plan go?!"


Freshman year of HS:
  1. Go through 4 years of math class
  2. Keep my grades up
  3. Be active in music
  4. Go to college

Freshman year of College:

  1. Get teaching degree
  2. Join clubs
  3. Experience all there is to have
  4. Travel lets revisit what ACTUALLY happened:

  1. 4 years of math (go me)...except 2nd semester senior year I told the teacher that I just didn't get it..but I still was AP Calculus
  2. I'm pretty sure my GPA went to poo my freshman year because I got a few D's and C's
  3. I was certainly active in, choir, band camp, honor bands and choirs, etc
  4. Well, I went to college...not where I wanted...but I went...


  1. Started out with a teaching emphasis...first in Elementary, then secondary, then completely changed to Computer Aided Drafting..hmm....
  2. I was in a band at my 3rd college for a semester...hated it...
  3. Ha, experience all there is?! I had a boyfriend...who didn't do much my freshman year...then I didn't have friends...then I was yeah...I didn't do a whole lot...minus #4
  4. I did study abroad in Ireland...which was FANTASTIC! But well, 1 semester out of 6 doesn't really count as experiencing all there is to have...


Well, with a baby on the way, I'm kind of thinking of the things that I haven't done that I really would like to do, at this point, I'm creating a new path for my life to work on...more of a GOAL than a true path...because paths always change...


GOAL: I shall finish a degree in something (I was thinking of going to IBMC and being a medical assistant) and I will show my child what it is like to have family vacations and the joys of travel.

I want these two things so bad. I can't even explain it. I love to learn and see things in life...I want that instilled in my child like it was in me when I was growing up!

*sigh* I think it's time for me to reflect in my head and get some stinkin' work done here!! haha

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Photographs and what my blog really is...

First off, a couple of y'all commented on my last post with very positive thoughts on the photographs I'd attached. Both my grandpa (the one in the photo) and my uncle are successful photojournalists. They're amazing...I can only wish to be as good as they are; to see the world the way they do! Here's links to their stuff so you can experience their world's:

Kevin Moloney (uncle)
BLOG: Perfesser Kev
WEBSITE: Kevin Moloney

Paul Moloney (grandpa)
BLOG: Wondering, Wandering Photographer
WEBSITE: Paul Moloney

I hope y'all enjoy!

Secondly, I read this wonderful blog post by one of my favorites, This Little Girl Dreams, titled My Love where she talked about her love of writing and then ultimately the purpose of her blog in general. It's a beautiful post and has really made me stop and think what I actually started this blog for. I have 2 other blogs that lay dormat now because I've lost interest in the past few months and have simply focused on this one. One blog talks about my battles with Chronic Urticaria and is ultimately a journal of what I've eaten, done, experienced, etc for each day so that I can keep track. The second is, or was, supposed to be about my writings, styling, design, etc that I could share...but I lost my muse somewhere along the road.

Sooo, at this point, why am I even bothering having more than one blog...what's wrong with just simply writing WHATEVER I want in this one??!! I think I shall...

I never thought I'd have 13 followers like I do...really, I only thought maybe a couple good friends would be my followers and that was that...but now, it's booming..well, not BOOMING but it's certainly nice to see that other people care what goes on in my life! :)

On that note, I'll leave you today with the knowledge that I'm sitting here in my office with a surgical/painting mask on because they're working on our roof and the fumes are ridiculous!!! Within an hour I had a headache and my chest hurt...sorry, but my baby is NOT breathing this stuff!!! So, I look LOVELY! :) Oh the things we do for our children! ;)

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

E-mail success and health!

Well, the e-mail went FANTASTIC!! In fact, what my g'pa wrote back was moving!! Apparently they were up in my area yesterday for a funeral, then came home to find my e-mail stating that I was bringing a new life into the world...which totally reversed their sad feelings into happy ones!! He went on to reminisce about when I was 1 1/2 and he was 54. He was recovering from a heart surgery and we were walking together, hand in hand, up the front walk at his house walking like a couple of drunken sailors! :) GREAT e-mail...

Now, as far as my doctor's appointment, everything was just blood pressure right where it should be, no diabetes or any threat of it, my iron is even good (considering I don't eat much meat)...everything was good! :)

Then she brought out the doppler machine to find the heartbeat...within 20 seconds we heard the fast beating of the heart and a smile streaked across my face! We heard it for a few seconds and the baby moved so we had to find it again..and it was still there..strong as ever! It was fantastic!!! :)

Next appointment is a month away!

As an addition...I found a couple wonderful pictures of my be honest, I've never felt closer to them as I do right now...when I was born they still had a 12 year old at home, so I'm not sure they were ready to be grandparents...but I think this baby will help to close the gap we've had for so long! Both photos are taken by my extremely talented uncle, Kevin Moloney.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Snow and heartbeats...

Well, it snowed... a lot! haha Friday it let up...but Saturday night we got pounded!!! About 6 inches...which luckily melted off the roads on Sunday and we were left with a wonderful, winter look!

As my dad stated, it was a "Norman Rockwell snow" wind...means no drifts...just tons of snow piling up!!! LOVED IT!

Steven did get his tattoo finished..and I'm not really a color fan, but it looks pretty cool!

Tomorrow, I have another doc's appointment...its just another prenatal check up but I'll probably be hearing the heartbeat for the first time (I hope)!!! :)

I e-mailed my grandpa today. I was going to wait and tell everyone on Thanksgiving next week but I have no idea how to break the I figured the easiest thing to do is e-mail my grandpa and let him gossip! haha...haven't gotten an e-mail back from him yet...but hopefully he's very excited about it. I know the only problem they'll have is that Steven and I aren't married..but really, we don't want to be.. We've both done that already and don't feel its necessary for our family success! Guess we'll see what comes of this...

Friday, November 13, 2009



It's snowing again..a lot...

I love the snow! haha :)

I think Steven is getting his tattoo finished tonight WHOOHOOO! And we'll probably spend the weekend "nesting"...cause, yes, I'm nesting like a crazy woman and it's driving me nuts that he won't let me move furniture around by myself!! haha

Hmm...nothing sorry...


Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Terrible, hormonal monster!!!!


Ok, now that I've gotten that out of the way...

I just had a moment where I want to vent because I hate, I mean HATE, when these things happen to me lately!!

Again, my co-worker, great as she is, and I really don't think she realizes that these things happen...but she was telling me about another of our co-workers who just found out that he and his wife are having another baby! They weren't trying so they're pretty excited about it just being meant to be...but anyways...original co-worker is the one adopting...she's talking to me about things...and says this, "Then Monroe would have a friend :)" (Monroe is her little girl's name and she was referring to the new baby from other co-worker)...well, what about my baby?!?!?!??!!? Am I just chopped liver in this workplace excitement?!?!?!

UGH...I just wish that a couple of my friends could be honestly happy for me...but they let their pride or something get in the way...

I think I might cry...stupid hormones!

Okay okay...enough wallowing self-pity! I know y'all are tired of that garbage!


In the spur of the moment, I was laying on the bed while Steven was doing his hair for his "Wolverine" look and I didn't have a clue what I was going to be that evening. I saw his jersey's hanging there...and thought...why not be a football player?? Well, ran the idea past Steven and it developed into me being his football alias "Merv Jackson"...haha (that's a whole different story) anyways..I was my own boyfriend for Halloween!

I wish I had e-mailed myself the picture of Steven and I together so that you can see how much he really does look like "Wolverine"...maybe tomorrow! :)

Monday, November 9, 2009

Forgive me...

So sorry for not posting in forever!!! I do have pictures from Halloween to post..and probably a few things I could talk about...

But I've just been soooooo super exhausted lately...I'm just a zombie!!! So...sorry :(

Please don't forget about me!?

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Next baby pic...

Well, before we get to the more exciting baby pic portion of this post. I want to tell you about my Paranormal Activity experience. It was a good movie...I just wish I could get scared much easier..then I would have been shaking my arms around like the poor girl next to me! ha :) I was, though, the proud owner of a nightmare the next evening! haha I dreamt that my cat was the demon and that she was going to attack me...well, then I woke up and she was laying next to I couldn't get back to sleep! Go figure!

Pregnancy + Scary movie = terrible dreams!!

Okay okay, so also on Friday we went to our ultrasound to measure everything...and, just like I feared, they said I wasn't as far along as I thought. They moved my due date back 10 days. It's not a whole bunch, thankfully, but still counts! Soooo..Due May 31, 2010...and here's our little teddy bear:

OH!!! I'm so happy to see that I have yet another follower!!! THANKS SO MUCH FOR JOINING ME ON THIS JOURNEY CALLED LIFE!

One last thing to cover, the dear Emma at Computergirl Musings gave me a wonderful blog award. I'm terrible at these things as of late...but I wanted to acknowledge the fact that she thought of me!!! :)

Thursday, October 29, 2009

My own SNOW picture! :) And other stuff...

Well, like I said yesterday, I wanted to post a snow picture of my own. Well, I took one this morning of our bench on the back porch. We have nothing to the north of us so we're riddled with many, many drifts and our snow just doesn't stay very pretty. So, this is the best I could do with our landscape!

It's a little blurry cause I didn't want to open the door and we'd been taking showers so the window was all fogged up! haha

Right now, the wind is just blowing in typical Northern Colorado fashion and causing ice on the roads and super chilly temperatures!

OK...other stuff...tomorrow is my ultrasound to measure everything!!! I'm excited to know for sure all the facts and what not..especially knowing much more accurately my due date.

It being Halloween weekend, there's a plethora of parties going on. I don't have a costume and I'll probably just do like last year and wear dark make up and be me! Friday night, I think we're going to maybe brave the weather and head back to the CORN MAiZE and then go see "Paranormal Activity"!!! HAS ANYONE SEEN THIS??? I'm pretty excited about it! :)

Saturday, we do have a wedding to go to and they conveniently scheduled it for 6:15 in the evening!!! I guess I shouldn't complain, it's their special day and I've known the girl my whole life so I'd better be there...but just doesn't make sense on Halloween...Oh well! After we enjoy a bit of their festivities, we'll probably head over the usual spot in town and party it up with our bar friends!! "Bar friends" sounds kind of bad...but they're really great people, we just know them from there...

Alrighty, I think that's enough mumbo-jumbo right now and I have a big bowl of noodles with butter, garlic, and pepper waiting for me!!! YUMMY!!!!


Wednesday, October 28, 2009


So, living in Colorado warrants the wonderful winter wonderland that everyone tends to dream about...and today, we're living in it! Well, the makings of it! It's snowing like mad and being in the country means snow drifts and ice! Ha! We have nothing to the north of us so we're going to be stuck working our way OUT of our house...oh joy!!!

From taken by fastdriving CAN YOU SEE THE DEER?

Its not all mountain-y and we don't have deer wandering around in my area...but I thought that was one of the better pics I've seen today. Hopefully, I'll be able to post an actual picture from my house tomorrow! ;)

Now to move onto a better topic, a blogger that I follow mentioned writing in a blog as a type of "free therapy"...she's right (do check out her blog too
Ex Hot Girl). I've sort of been contemplating the true meaning of my blog...the reason that I tend to write at least 3-4 times a week...So.."Kendra, why do you blog??"

I blog because, well simply, I live in the 21st century and hardly anyone keeps an actual journal anymore. It's much, much easier to just sit at the computer and type out your thoughts as they come flowing to you.
But really, blogging for me is about venting. The word venting doesn't have to come across as a negative thing. I vent happy things too...
Sometimes I blog to just find a way to say things in real life too. If I "vent" them and they sound good, then I'm able to say them to the intended person and things just go a little's like premeditated conversation!

Ok, in the midst of my rambling I've kind of lost some gusto...I think it's the hormonal headaches that I've had for 5 days straight now...ugh, darn those hormones!

Til next time...

Tuesday, October 27, 2009


I do want to say a huge, ginormous THANK YOU to my 2 new followers and the 9 that remain unchanged!!!

Hope I can keep blogger happiness for everyone! :)

First Prenatal Appointment...

Well, this morning I had a plethora of tests done on me in order to get the ball rolling with my pregnancy! They took 4 viles of blood, gave me the H1N1 shot, did a TB test, and the whole works on a physical exam!! Needless to say, I'm a bit drained right now...

On Friday, I have another ultrasound appointment to see the size of the baby and make a definite prediction on how far along I am.

THEN, in 2 weeks, I have another prenatal appointment but it shouldn't be all inclusive like this first one was. I really didn't know what to expect this time...actually, I really don't the next time either..but oh well!! Nothing bothers me! :) for another U/S pic that hopefully looks much more like a baby instead of a lima bean! :)

Aside from that, I forgot to mention that on Saturday my mom and I went shopping. I did get a few goodies from Victoria's Secret and my mom bought me some maternity clothes!

From VS:
~~Wet/Dry eyeshadow in Plum Crazy and Bronzinger
~~Beauty Rush fat glittery liner...that I don't know the color of..haha
~~2 of my FAVORITE mascara: Beauty Rush in black

I also got a few pairs of panties ;)

As far as maternity wear, I got a great dress from Target
It's a very versitle piece..and I can remove the scarf to accessorize how I want.

Then from Ross we found a couple pieces for a great price! A pair of jeans and a super cute shirt...that I'm actually wearing today! haha

Then a staple pair of black pants!

All in all, it was good...and did plenty of walking to keep myself active for that day at least! :)

Monday, October 26, 2009

Ultrasound PIC!!!

Sorry sorry Jaqi! I didn't mean to get your hopes all up and then not post a picture! it is!!! :)

Tomorrow is my first actual prenatal appointment at the doctor's office. I really don't know what they'll do or what to expect! So I'm kind of nervous...

I have had a headache for 4 days now so I'm hoping that they can shed some light on that for me! I really don't want to deal with having migraines for the next 7 months!

Let me know what you think of our little Deus Ward or Marlee Monroe! :)

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

First ultrasound...

I'd like to be posting a picture along with this...maybe tomorrow...

But I had my first ultrasound today. It wasn't anything super inclusive but I got to see the baby and the little, flickering heartbeat! :) They said the heartbeat is around 165 beats per minute and the normal range is all is good there! It is also said that the higher the beats the more likely its a girl...don't know how true that is..but I guess we'll see someday! :)

We were able to print out pictures of the u/s with "Hi Mom and Dad", "Hi Grandma and Grandpa", and "Hi Grandma" printed on them to keep and give to my parents and Steven's mom! :)

Sooo...another step toward this really sinking in. I mean, it did a lot more today...but I'm still like..."whoa...there's a 2nd heartbeating inside of me..." Not sure how to take that...

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Maternity outfit...

Well, in light of the situation I'm in, I figured I'd do some outfit-puttin-together...haha...Here's something I'd love to wear this winter!

What'cha think!?

Test # 3...Meetings meetings meetings...

This morning we took a trip to the Pregnancy Resource Center. In order to get on Medicaid, I need some "proof of pregnancy" paperwork. So, we had to hit the center and do another test. I laughed because Steven stayed downstairs (he has bad knees and we already know it's positive) while I went up to do it and talk with the girl. There was another couple sitting in the front room and the guy was like "Why do you go too???" And when Steven finally explained that we already know that I am pregnant and that we're just getting it all verified for Medicaid they understood but the guy did say, "Man, I just thought you were a big jerk!" HAHAHAHHAHA...Goodness...

But anywho...Test #3 came out POSITIVE...not that I really had doubts but it was still in the back of my mind that maybe, just maybe, I wasn't pregnant anymore or the first two tests lied...I don't know...crazy talk!

Soooo...tomorrow, I have my meeting with the health department at 10:15am...but I was supposed to have my "proof" papers then...I can't get them until 1pm tomorrow when I got into the resource center for an ULTRASOUND and to do the whatever..I'll probably end up going back to the health department to talk to them again!! Whew...then I'll have to come to work late and blah blah blah...gonna be a long day!

Soo...I guess I'll leave you with a picture of what my baby is "supposed" to look like right now...I'm 9-10 weeks somewhere between these two pics...

Monday, October 19, 2009

"Somebody has a case of the Monday's.."

Yep, it's me!!! I'm grumpy, tired, cold, hungry, and just all-in-all worn out today! I don't want to be at work...and I certainly don't want to be here until 6:30pm!!!

Wednesday I have a meeting with the Prenatal Coordinator with the health department. She's going to set us up with Medicaid and get us all straight away with doctors and what not...should be good. I'm looking forward to getting the ball rolling!

**yawn** I'm about to turn out the light in my office and sleep on the floor!!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Friday Favorites...

I must admit I've been far too self-centered to really blog about anything that people might want to read! Ha! It's just been a mess of woe-is-me...people I'm pregnant!!! What a bunch of poo!!!

So, in the spirit of that what-not, here's a blog talking about a few favorites...and by favorites I mean, favorite blogs...These people I ultimately have, I mean HAVE, to read each day (pending they've posted) because it just brightens my afternoon!

**Drum roll**

Marie at Marie Loves...The Obsessions of a Shopaholic.... This girl...she's got such, well to be totally honest, undeniable humor in every word she writes!! I can't get enough! It doesn't matter what she's posted about (because honestly, I'm kind of picky somedays and don't read every blog I follow just the ones that seem interesting) and I'll read her blog. I just want to hear in my head the way she talks! Ha..that's silly! But ultimately true! Not to mention she's got this 80's look to her that you actually don't mind seeing! Being not a fan of the whole 80's thing (not dogging on anyone who is), I'm almost afraid of the way some people are. But Marie, oh Marie, she's just great! haha CHECK THIS GIRL OUT!

Natalya at Natalya's Beauty Blog-FilthyGorgeousMakeup. Really, the biggest reason I love to read her blog is because she's GORGEOUS!!! I say this in the "I'm not a creeper" way...she honestly is that beauty that so many girls would covet...BUT, in the same sense, she's truthfully down-to-earth and seems like a sweetheart! When it comes to her makeup she has a great adventurous side that I certainly admire! Really makes me want to have a bit more talented in the makeup department! :)

Jenn at Ex Hot Girl. Don't be fooled by her blog title...regardless of this girl's personal image she's a great lookin' gal! :) She, like Marie, has that bluntness to her that'll make you smile no matter what you're mood might be! She talks a lot about her life and mainly weight-loss journey, but in a way that you can totally relate! Not to mention, she has a great TMI Thursday post idea that will have you rolling every week! Along with this blog she also had a fun Bloggerhood of the Traveling Not So Fat Pants blog that chronicles a few gals taking over some pairs of her jeans in order to promote weight-loss! Humorous for sure! ALSO, she's a photographer...and a brilliant one at that...check out her work on this blog: JBe Photography

Jaqi at Jaqi Zoo. Now this girl, she doesn't post too often due to a very busy schedule, but she's one of my dearest friends...we've known each other for nearly 10 years now and I really miss her bum since she moved across the country! I love how creative this gal has gotten recently. She's taken up the wonderful world of knitting...I believe that's right...and is certainly 10 billion times better at it than I have ever been! :) I get way too overly excited whenever she posts or comments on my blog...haha...its really ridiculous honestly! Just can't get enough of my Jack-Attack!! *sigh* Speaking of...when's you're next trip to Colorado?!?! I know, I know, I owe you like 50 trips to Boston...will do that someday... :)

Alrighty, I've limited myself to 4 right now. I do read other blogs, and have an extensive following list...believe me, I don't follow if I don't read!! So, please don't be offended if I didn't mention you above...I'm not ignoring you or don't love you any less than these gals!!! PROMISE! :)

On that note, I'm "Audi"...haha (just watched Clueless a couple days back)! Sooo glad it's FRIDAY!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

It's a bird, it's a plane, no its.....a 6 year old???

When my friend mentioned this article and happening today, I was kind of like...WTF are you talking about?! But then I read the article...and my jaw dropped to the floor. I've now wound my jaw back up to its normal position and am laughing my butt off!! I can't believe this is happening right above me now!!! Some people's kids! READ AWAY: (I posted a picture at the end)

LARIMER COUNTY - Officials in Larimer County have been actively searching for hours for a child who literally floated away from his family's home on an experimental aircraft at 11 a.m. Thursday.

According to the Larimer County Sheriff's Department, the 6-year-old boy's parents had been building an experimental aircraft which had a large helium balloon attached at their home on Fossil Ridge Road in Fort Collins.

On Thursday morning, according to the family and officials, the boy got onto the aircraft and detached the rope holding it in place.

The aircraft is described by the sheriff's office as a dome-shaped, 20 foot, 5 foot aircraft covered with foil.

Viewer Lisa Eklund sent photos of an aircraft in the air near her home on Saturn Drive, also in Fort Collins.

The Federal Aviation Administration is working to track the aircraft on its radar tower and has notified the Denver International Airport.

Shortly after noon, the Weld County Sheriff's Office said the boy was seen two miles south of Evans, near County Road 46 and Highway 85. Sky9 is now helping track the aircraft which is said to be traveling at least 25 miles per hour.

Closer to 1 p.m., the aircraft was listed as near Hudson.

Officials all over northern Colorado are preparing crews should the aircraft land. Additionally, the National Gaurd has launched a helicopter to assist with rescue efforts.

Aviation Expert Greg Feith spoke to 9NEWS about the process of rescuing the boy.

"It is an unusual event and the big thing now is trying to get that child down from this balloon. It's all going to depend on of course the environment. It's windy outside so it's going to keep it adrift for quite a while. The helium, depending on the size of this thing, if it ran into very cold air, it may help it come down as you know if you let a helium balloon go the higher it gets it'll stagnate only because of the cold air," Feith said.

Feith added that without knowing the structural integrity of the aircraft it is difficult to know how it will withstand any turbulence.

"The other key here is the structural integrity. Not knowing how it's constructed and given the fact that we do have these wind conditions which of course create turbulence we don't know how much turbulence this airship, if you will, can actually withstand so there's a lot of external factors here," he added.

Feith says the military will likely be needed to help with this rescue effort as they are familiar with creative uses of aircrafts to rescue soldiers from difficult locations.

"In the past [the military has] launched helium balloons to pull guys out of the woods when they've been shot down. Other than that I think they're going to have to let the forces of nature and hopefully a lot of luck bring this airship down safely."

9NEWS Weather Anchor Marty Coniglio, who is also a pilot, also discussed the rescue effort on 9NEWS at Noon.

"It's a clear day... we don't have horrible winds. I'm sure it's frightening for the child but we have what we think is a wind basically out of the northwest at about 15-25 m.p.h., it depends on your altitude," he said.

Sky9 is working with Weld County officials to track the aircraft from the air.

The boy's father Richard Henne is a known storm chaser. During an apperance on the television program WifeSwap, Henne and his wife, Mayumi, focused on their love of science.

9NEWS will continue to follow this story and provide updates on and 9NEWS at 4, 5 and 6 p.m.

All information from

***EDIT***They've landed it now just Northwest of DIA...but the boy isn't in it....they have no idea where he is now... :(

***EDIT 2***The darn boy wasn't even in the aircraft the whole time!!!!! Shortly after 4pm they found him hiding in a box in the family's garage attic!!! I'm sorry, but that kid would be in soooooooo much trouble! haha Glad he's okay though!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Fatigue...and Oatmeal...

So, just like every single 8 week newsletter says, I'm exhausted...suffering from fatigue and just overall wanting to sleep allllll the time!

Poo...wish this was me:

I think I'll go home and take an oatmeal candle light...with some tea... it time to go home yet?!

Monday, October 12, 2009



I'm not really sure what to think about this vehicle....for all you fellow car folk out there...this is a bit appalling!

Am I just hormonal?!?!?! further development with the bitchy co-worker...I'm finding myself in a tough spot...not sure if it's hormones governing my thoughts or if these are really valid?! Someone HELP!!!

That same bitchy co-worker is in the process of adopting a baby in place of not being able to conceive. She's going through a private adoption...and the baby will be born in February. She already knows it's a girl..which causes some mixed feelings right there (will talk about in a min)...and is constantly talking to me about it.

Now, where my craziness comes into play is that I'm uber frustrated with her always telling me things like "Our daugther's going to be cute though...all of her kids have red hair and bright blue eyes." or "I need not be so hard on my self. I am so afraid she is going to change her mind...ugh. Need to focus on positive karma."...Now I have no problem talking her through the positive thinking and reminding her that she must stay calm and collected through it...but in the same breath, I don't need to hear things like the first quote...I don't want to think about it that much right now because it hurts hurts that she can say those things to me...but I have to watch what I say!!! That she never asks me how I am doing!!!!

I don't know...again, maybe I'm just being hormonal...

Okay, for the other thing...since they know it's a girl...then she already calls the baby Monroe...which is what they're naming her....but that's the name Steven and I want for our little girl....soooooo...if we have a girl too..they will both be Monroe...and I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about that... My heart kind of sank last week when I found out...

*sigh* Any help...from anyone??? Am I just crazy????

Thursday, October 8, 2009

What did I do!?

Why do people find some way, in all their own life's stresses, to just tear me down!?

My co-worker...while I understand far too well her situation...decided to rip into me today about how she thinks my situation is wrong and how if she were me she wouldn't be pregnant and that it's wrong of me to get government assistance...blah blah blah...

Anyways, here's the true breakdown of me vs her right now:

~~Applying for Medicaid...yes, its tax payers money paying for all the things I'll need, but I don't work enough hours to get my companies health insurance and other outside insurance is far too expensive.

**In her situation, she's worked for our company for 9 years...meaning she doesn't know what its like to struggle to pay when you're super sick...

~~Living in a small, rented house with Steven, our two dogs, and my cat.

**She owns her own 3 bedroom 2 bathroom home and two brand new cars with her husband and 3 dogs

~~I'm very much in debt and live paycheck to paycheck because I don't have much assistance and am working my butt off to pay as much as I can off in a timely fashion.

**She keeps a minimum amount in her bank account and her parents helped her pay off all her debt years ago...

NOW..I HATE talking about her like this...she and her husband have been trying for over a year now via fertility drugs and everything...and in the meantime, I've just been here! But when I WAS married we tried for a year and I really do know where she's been but I've never once talked bad about the things she's confided in me...

BUT, here I am...getting ripped completely apart because I'm in a tough spot as it is and now I have an unplanned pregnancy to deal with....well, in all honesty, I'm so happy about it that the stress doesn't even tear me down anymore...Maybe I'm just crazy and being a total bitch posting this..but I was sooo hurt earlier...

She told me things like, "I would get rid of the dogs"...."I don't agree with your situation, it's bad timing"...."Your man isn't working so how are you supposed to provide"...blah blah blah blah....


THEN...I called Steven to tell him what happened and so he texted her to let her know that he doesn't appreciate her tearing us down like that....needless to say, once she came back to work I got this screamed at me, "Tell Merv to stop fucking texting me or I'll file harrassment charges on him!"


Fuck people today :(

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The tests and my parents...

Here's a pic of the tests for verifications sake...and for my own "scrap booking" purposes! :)
The picture is terrible! I was taking it in a rush on my bathroom rug before Steven walked in and thought I was a crazy woman!!! haha :)

Telling my parents last night didn't go quite as rough as I thought it might. We walked in the door just as they were heading downstairs to relax and I asked them to both come up...I handed a little card to my mom that said "Imagine where they'll go" on the front with baby feet and "Congratulations" on the inside. We had both signed it. She read it, gasped, and said, "you're going to have a baby?!"

I told her dad didn't say anything...he just stood on the stairs and looked at us...I smiled at him and he kept a grin on his face.

My mom asked the obvious questions, "So where are you going to put a baby?" and "What about health care?" My answers: "We'll put Ziona with Hercules in his kennel and we'll put the baby in her kennel!" hahahahha j/k and "I'll apply for Medicaid"

We weren't there for more than 10 minutes...and that was harm done!

NOW...I'm sicker than the dickens!!! Morning sickness 24/7!!! I'm not enjoying this part at all...except that it's obvious this pregnancy is sticking because my hormones keep screwing up my body!!! Bleck!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Super important, private info, that i HAVE to share...

Haha, okay okay, so I only have 9 followers..and whilst I adore all of you, only 2 of you actually know people that I know that shouldn't know this information quite yet...does that make sense??!?!? ANYWAYS...Jaqi, Andrea...don't spread the word, k!?

BUT...I have to blog this...HAVE TO!

I've been rather ill feeling for a couple weeks now...and I'd known that my "Aunt Flo" was right around the corner so I just figured that was it...that I was just feeling ill from that....

Well, after being 2 weeks late and feeling like poo the whole time, I decided to take a couple tests...pregnancy tests that is...(in case it wasn't obvious)!

Well, Friday night before we went out and before any tests, I started to spot a little...both Steven and I were SUPER disappointed thinking that my "Aunt Flo" had come finally! Well, then it we went to the store and got tests...

Since hormone levels are highest in the mornings, I waited to take test #1 on Saturday morning....did so...and well, 3 long minutes later, POSITIVE... :)

We got Dorothy (Steven's mom) a #1 Grandma mug to break the news to her...and she was sooo happy!!

Sunday morning...test #2....3 more long minutes...POSITIVE!!! :)

Wellllll....2 positive tests later...we've bought my parents a card and are hoping to break the news to them tonight...I'm super nervous about it...but we'll see...

Needless to say, right now, I'm sick to my stomach, tired, and 6-7 weeks pregnant! hahaha


NOW, like I said before...I should wait to put this out in public domain...but I needed to write about it...soo...don't say anything...I need to get through my first trimester before the whole world knows....

Thursday, October 1, 2009


I'm currently watching the last 3 outs of this game in order to solidify the Rockies spot in the out down!!!

Lets keep watching...


OI...base hit...



STRIKE 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ROCKIES WIN 9-2!!!!!!! YAY!!! I'm so excited I could cry!!!!

Snoring dogs and baseball...

Hercules...God love that dog!!! He's fantastic and on a whim last night, Steven and I decided to let him sleep with us in our bed. Now, mind you, we have a queen size bed and we're not small people. Add in a large dog and a's awfully cramped!!! BUT it was so great!!! Hercules is wonderful about laying down and holding still although he gets stretching modes and at various points either one of us was getting a paw to the throat...oh well!!! Sadly, I could hardly breathe all night and this morning I feel like I have fleas because I'm itching so much!!! I think I'm slightly allergic :( Soooo, on that note, Hercules won't be able to sleep with us anymore...but that one night was fun!

Aside from that, we're entering what we hope to be (crosses fingers) another ROCKTOBER!!! WTF!? You ask...Well, in Colorado we have our baseball team the Rockies...and two years back they entered into a wonderful streak of games in the month of October...coining the term "Rocktober". Well, it being Oct 1st, they are playing the game to clinch a playoff spot...

Sooo...lets have it!


Tuesday, September 29, 2009


Well, looks like I'm the proud owner of a cold! :( BOOOOO!!!!

I thought for sure that my over-active immune system would combat this one...but I guess I'm going into remission :( I'm not sure which one I'm happy about...not having hives every day but sick or not being sick with hives every day!!! Pooo...

Aside from that, I think it's time for a nap...

Monday, September 28, 2009

The humor in being a girl...

On Sunday afternoon I accompanied my mom, grandma, cousin, and aunt to a play down in Denver. It was called GIRL ONLY. It's a comedy on the various quirks of being a girl. One writer/actor in it is a good friend of our family and so we were able to receive free tickets from her! :) (Thankfully, cause I'm dirt poor and tickets are normally $29.00)

Anywho...the topics they made us laugh about ranged from diary entries when they were 12 years old, to feminine hygeine products and their many uses, to the crazy history of women! It was rather hilarious and honestly worth seeing if you're in the area. They're still trying to get a bid to travel with the show but it's hard to get the right kind of setting.

One particular skit they focused on was about how women throw "showers" for everything. We have parties for babies, for weddings, or everything!!! So they decided to have a spontaneous shower for nothing..and I just happened to be seated in the spotlight spot!!! Making it MY SHOWER! Haha...They stood next to me and sang a silly song and gave me a Little Debbie cake...and popped streamers over my head...and I got to wear a Princess paper crown! WHOOHOO!! It was super embarrassing but that's okay!!! :)

Here's their website: Girls Only

Be sure to check out the photos from the play...there's some hilarious ones!!! :)

Friday, September 25, 2009

MAC finding....

As I posted in my INS and OUTS post, I've found that I have a MAC eyeshadow!!! How, you ask, did I not know I had one?!?!?! Well, easy as this...I got it as a gift from Steven's mom with some lotions and lipsticks. Well, I'd never really thought about it much..just that it was pink and I never know what to do with I just threw it into my makeup bag...well, I was sifting around this morning looking for something to put on my eyes..and I spotted it...picked it up...and gasped in shock!!! It's says MAC right on top...DUH!!! haha's the eyeshadow that I have...the one and only..
and quite honestly, I don't know what to do with I've just dusted it on my lids and lined my lower lid with it....Does anyone have a better idea?!?!?


This a popular post that goes around the I thought I'd chance one myself!


-Busy weekend with a wedding shower and a play
-Cool nights
-Finding out that I have a MAC eyeshadow..haha
-Casual Fridays at work for which I'm wearing jeans and a Coca-Cola hoodie!
-Steven still loving me even though I'm a nutcase (typical girl)


-Steven's mom breaking a rib this morning...and now they're keeping her overnight at the hospital
-My dogs constantly waking us up early in the morning
-SPIDERS..we have BIG brown recluse popping up everywhere!
-Not making enough money to pay bills (woe-is-me..i know)
-No more flip-flops every day very very soon! :(


Thursday, September 24, 2009


I know....3rd post today!!! haha :)

I've fallen in love with the content of this magazine Interview!! It's great!!! AND..I've done enough online surveys with e-Rewards to get a year's subscription for FREE! :) YAY!!!'s a great article about the new nail trends that are hitting the runway and can definitely work for the ordinary person too!!! I'm so excited...I just want to go home and paint my nails! haha (such a girl sometimes...)

CHECK IT OUT!!!!Bottle Service: Glazed Nails


You all should watch this short film!! It's beautiful....

Samuel Benchetrit's "Melinda"

Food...Noxzema..and Aussie...

Yes, another "WOE-IS-ME" post..but if you don't like it then get over it!!! Or you can just skip down to where I talk about a couple products I'm working with!

Well, to start off with the tough stuff...Steven and I swung into the Food Bank today. We broke down...and are asking for government assistance...*sigh*. This sucks. For those who don't know, the Food Bank is a place for low-income families to go and get free food that was donated by businesses in our area. We had to go in and be put into the computer and show proof of living in this county, monthly income, people living in the house, etc. When I told the lady what my monthly income was, she asked if we got Food Stamps (that's money the government gives low-income families to use at grocery stores). When I told her no, she asked why not...I really didn't know anything about them and just figured we didn't qualify...apparently we do...but I'm not sure if we're going to take that step.'s the set up while we walked into the place and how it made me feel like poo...Steven is sporting is nice green/white Adidas tennis shoes, great camo/floral shorts, and a fight shirt..and I'm sportin' my black pants, flip flops, white tank, and a Victoria's Secret zip up hoodie!!! HELLO!!! We don't look like we're destitute...*sigh*...but we are. We walk through the door and they hand us a cart with a box of things in it (I'm not sure what's in there..didn't get the chance to look) then we got to choose 3 breads. They were all breads that I've baked before when I worked in the bakery...yummy stuff (obviously close or out of date..but still good). They handed us a carton of eggs and a box of muffins. Then we got to choose some potatoes (few handfuls), cottage cheese (it's like a gallon of it!), squash (a few big ones), onions(had the option to take a 20lb bag, but we just grab a few), salads(big bags of it), strawberries(4 boxes of them), and some other stuff...needless to say, we got some great things...more than I thought we could get!!! I'm glad these places exist. I've always donated from the places I've worked (Bakery and now Coca-Cola), but I definitely never thought I'd be on the other end!!! Ahh well...when we're in need...we're in need...nothing we can do about it. onto the "fun" stuff!!! The other day I was down to my last drop of make up remover and really just hating my natural bar of soap because it'd started to dry out my face. So we hit the store and I found a wonderful tub of the classic Noxzema!!!
Who doesn't love the effervescence of it and that tingling it leaves?!?!?! I certainly do!!! So, I'm just on day 2 of using it..but I can tell you now that my face isn't near as dry nor is it feeling quite as grimey!!! THEREFORE, I'm in love...haha...

Secondly, I bought an Aussie leave-in conditioner. My hair is naturally curly and it's the devil trying to comb it after my shower. I think I end up breaking more hair than I comb...ridiculous!!! Soooo...I opted for another classic (used it as a kid) product!! It smells like coconut and makes my hair comb sooooooooo much better!!! THANK GOODNESS!!! I lose enough as it is..I don't need it being pulled out too...whew...

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


So, in the theme of recession, I'm absolutely, positively stressed out. I am the sole income for my family (2 adults, 2 dogs, 1 cat) and it's hard to even cover my bills. I need Steven to work but the employment rate keeps dropping here in our county.

I'm really, very lost on what to do...

At this point, I don't even know how we're going to get gas to even get me to work...


Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Photo edits...

I've found something fun to do to occupy my time while I "work"...yes, I do these things while being paid to wait around for other people to finish their jobs!! GREAT position I tell ya! :)

Well, here's a few shots....LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!

Some flowers Steven gave me awhile back..thought I'd play with colors

Same flowers, playing with the blurring

On Steven's birthday he took our friends motorcycle on a ride, I took this picture from our truck riding next to him at 70mph...thought I'd boost the colors

This was a natural phenomenon that we witnessed. The rainbow completely encircled the sun! I just deepened the colors.

Just gave it a B/W look and added a shadowing around the edges

Monday, September 21, 2009

Celebrate good times! COME ON!

Well, I took Friday off this past weekend in order to travel my happy little butt up to Cheyenne, Wyoming to enjoy a wedding reception for my friend who just returned from Iraq! He and his wife got married before he left a year ago in New Jersey so none of us were able to celebrate with them!!! SOOOO...they had a party this weekend!! :)

Here's a few shots from the event! :)
There is half of Jason, Donny (groom), Courtney (bride), and Rod. Both Rod and Donny were stationed in Iraq together!

Enjoying their first dance!

Steven caught the garter...of course! ;)

A pic of me and Steven...

Rod's fiance was unable to join him so he was there stag. Steven decided that they should dance together!

Two of my favorite people in the whole world!! Steven and Donny! :)

After the formal festivities we headed up to a hotel room and continued the after-party! It was great to see my old friends again after they'd been gone for so long! I really do miss them terribly!!! PLUS, a huge PLUS, Steven and the guys got along famously! :)

All in all, we spent a healthy 12 hours away from home and enjoyed every second of it!

The rest of the weekend was definitely spent recovering...haha

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Oh, if only!!!

I'm in complete and total awe of this photographer!!! His work is AMAZING!!!

Don Hales Photography

Ugh, I just don't even know what to just have to look!!!

Oh, and not to mention, his featured model right now, Kelly Eden, is phenomenal!!!

*sigh*...I want to do a shoot with him...

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Lets test my passion one more time...

Fair warning, this post is fairly opinionated...if you have any comments or concerns, do let me know!

Well, yesterday was hard...very hard...

Steven was up for a job as an ISS teacher. Basically, monitoring the troubled kids at the middle school he coaches football at. Well, the principal and vice principal of the school were very excited about his interview and his answers. They were gung-hoe and wanted him in there without a passed through to the district...after being widdled down from 15 candidates to 2...the district looked at Steven's background and then at the other guys. What detered them from hiring Steven???? The other guy has his teaching certificate (not required for this position) and if he was there then they wouldn't have to hire out a substitute teacher all the time. (Except..if they use him as a sub..then who watches ISS..perplexing, I know) Therefore, Steven wasn't hired for the job.

The kicker (and the part that triggers my passion), while in interview Steven was adamant about saying that he's there for the kids, that the wants to simply reach out and help them for the greater good. The other guy, simply wants a job! (This information was shared from the vice principal since he was quite disappointed with the districts decision).

While I was in education courses a few years back I'd always felt the need to help more than teach. I wanted to EDUCATE rather than TEACH. The difference you ask??

ed-u-cate: –verb (used with object) to develop the faculties and powers of (a person) by teaching, instruction, or schooling.

teach: -verb (used with object) to impart knowledge of or skill in; give instruction in

I see a HUGE difference between these two. I've always wanted to help a person grow from the core knowledge and the true person that they are; never simply give them the information that a state dictates so that my school could earn more money for their positive test scores! (Hence why standardized testing is a mess; you can't put a standard on a society of individuals)

What tore at my heart (and made me cry for nearly an hour) is the fact that this specific school is nearly half filled with foster kids or single-parented kids. They need someone who is willing to look at them as individuals, treat them as adults, giving respect that they so desparately need, so that they might not cause as much trouble, or honestly, they just might do their school-work and better themselves in the long run. But, instead, they've handed this very delicate position to a person that doesn't care what the kids are going through, hasn't reached out already in his current position (he's the 7th grade volleyball coach) to help them regardless of pay...whilst Steven has had one of the "hardest" kids in the school quit football only to come back the next day and say he's sorry for what was said and that he'd really like a second chance. The respect that comes from that, that grows in that specific kid (let alone in the school) is something that is not attained from being the TEACHER...for God's sake people...EDUCATE!!!!!!

I know I'm simply rambling..and really off in a passionate tangent that probably doesn't make any sense...oh, and I'm sorry to my international readers, I know your school system is run much differently from ours...but I'm disappointed right now. I'm not sad about the money we're missing out on...I'm sad about the kids and the person that is going to be overseeing them...the person who doesn't care...who just wanted a damn job...

Monday, September 14, 2009

Lookin' through beauty time...

Thanks to a great post by Lydia at .Alice in a New Wonderland I've been inspired to take a look at our changes in beauty over time as far as Miss America (she did hers with Miss Italy)!

1965 Vonda Van Dyke

1977 Dorothy Benham

1985 Susan Akin

1995 Heather Whitestone

2009 Katie Stam

Miss America really hasn't changed a whole lot. They all seem to at least (thankfully) have a some-what curvy body regardless of being thin. I'm happy to see this trend but I see what my friend had posted and realize there's still a specific body type that all pageants are looking for. They want something that is attainable but in general can promote the wrong idea for many many girls.

I, myself, am curvy, but heavy-set. While I would love to be the next Katie Stam, Megan Fox, Jamie Eason, etc, I'm not going to kill myself and trick myself into believing that I am something more than just me! Fact is, I love my body (maybe minus about 10lbs) and I have no lack of care from Steven or other people for who I really, really am! :)