Tuesday, June 29, 2010

I'm going to picture overload everyone right now. I've posted some of my favorites from Marlee's first few days.

Dad and her had an immediate connection when she was first getting bathed at the hospital. He was her "knight in shining armor" as they poked and proded her.

During our stay, we all took several naps together. Mine weren't nearly as cute as the two of them cuddled up!

We like to think she was blowing kisses while looking over Aunt Shanna's shoulder...

Getting ready to go home on June 6th. Grandma Regina bought this little outfit for Marlee.

The dearest sock monkey (who Dad and I lovingly call Butthole right now) was there when we got home to look over Marlee and keep his arm around her.

Great-Papa came to visit June 9th and fell in love! I have a feeling they'll be telling stories to one another for years!

Hercules loves Marlee...even though I don't think he quite understands who or what she is!

First outing June 10th at the pool. Marlee slept through the whole time while Dad had far too much fun doing flips into the pool!

June 12th a bunch of Grandma Regina's family came to visit where Marlee was the highlight of the time! Our little bug was passed around the whole day and loved it! Great grandma Annette and Great-Papa loved talking with Marlee.

As the days went on, Marlee got more and more curious about her surroundings. When we lay in bed and she sits against our knees, she has the perfect view of a light and 3 black-n-white photos on the wall. Her eyes have become very fond of all these objects!

Dad doesn't ever want to let go of his Marlee-bug...they love each other more than I can even express in this caption!

Another shot of love between Marlee and Dad! She spreads out on his belly letting her feet dangle and her ear listen to his heartbeat!

Monday, June 28, 2010

I'm here...living the dream....

Before I delight in our dear Marlee-bug's birth story, I just want to thank the people who are still following me after my 3 week sabbatical! I had meant to blog somewhere in there, but the lack of computer in my home makes it difficult whilst falling in love with my darling daughter!

I have so many pictures that need to be posted...so many things that need to be talked about...I just don't know where to start!

I think the best start would be with Marlee's birth story:

June 4, 2010

I guess it all technically started on June 3rd. I had been working that Thursday afternoon feeling a little off and knowing that something was coming. I even posted on here that my contractions were getting close! Well, at about 5pm I decided I couldn't wait at work any longer. I called Steven and had him come pick me up. I called my family and friends and told them that we were going in and we'd let them know what the doctor's say.

We arrive at the triage in the maternity ward at around 6pm. I undress, they do an extensive questionaire, and they check my status. I was at 4cm at that point...not really a change from earlier that afternoon when my normal doctor checked me just to be sure. The triage folk decided to let me wait it out and see if there would be a change.

At this point, my parents, Steven's mom, and our friend Lori are all waiting in the waiting area. We were told to walk for an hour and then they would check me again to see if there was a change. During this walk, Lori decided to employ a handful of squats to possible help move things along for me. Once we were finished with the hour, they checked....and well, this new nurse decided that according to her I was at 5cm. But left us with some caution that it could possible be the same reading as the other nurse...just that her 5 could be someone else's 4...ugh...

She told us to walk again for another hour. Also stating to do squats and pelvic "swooshes" to see if it helps. Another hour and 150 squats later...we're still at 5cm!!!

At this point, it's nearing 10pm and they decide to just let us go home and sleep on it.

Frustrated, we head home.

Once home, I ate a big plate of nachos and climbed into bed. I must admit, that nights sleep was the best I'd had in about 9 months. I slept so soundly...it was amazing!!!

The morning rolled around and while laying on my glorious left side I was bombarded with a handful of texts asking about how things were going. I felt, well to be honest, like an ass because it seemed as though my contractions weren't even there anymore!!! Here I am 4 days past due and it seems like it was all false labor!!!!

My mom called asking how I was doing and if I would like to go to town with her. Do some walking...get our hair trimmed... I agreed and hopped in the shower.

By this time, the contractions were back (thankfully). They weren't nearly as rough as the night before...but I was feeling them.

After the shower and when my mom had shown to pick me up, I was having a handful of contractions that would make me sort of stop and take a deep breath. We decided to continue on with our plan and headed for the beauty parlor.

While getting my hair trimmed things were progressing. I was to the point that I didn't want to talk through my contractions and did my best to hold perfectly still since the lady did have a pair of scissors next to my head! I informed my mom that they were getting worse so we walked next door to grab me a bottle of water. We hit the restroom in the grocery store very first and the second I walked into there I started to bawl. It was that time...things were definitely happening!!!

I called Steven to let him know what was going on. I asked if he would like us to come get him first or just meet us at the hospital. He opted for the hospital and said he would jump in the shower really quick first.

It was 12pm noon when my mom and I checked into triage (for the 2nd time). I was in pretty substantial pain but did my best to just breathe through the contractions.

At about 12:35pm, Steven arrived via speeding car. I had texted him a few times informing him that "I was dying" and that made him literally yield at every stop sign and stop light he came to. Luckily, there weren't any police officers in sight.

The triage nurse had to check in another girl, but I was in a ton of pain so I sent Steven out to grab her. She was unable to give me any pain medication because I hadn't had an IV even at that point. She check my dilation and I was at 8cm... Time to head to the delivery room to get ready!!!

They placed me in a wheelchair where I had to carefully stiff arm my way through painful contractions until we reached my delivery room.

I remember being curled up in a ball, writhing in pain as the flight nurse was attempting to get IV equipment ready. At that point, I spoke up and said, "I think I need to push...".

From what I was told (I had my eyes closed practically the whole time), she literally dropped everything and turned to me and we started. Steven was on my left side with me squeezing his hand to death and my mom was on my right side telling me how good I was doing.

My water hadn't broken yet and so the flight nurse reached in and broke the water in my first 2 pushes. It was a comfortable rush...a feeling that things were really happening! Right as my water broke my mom asked Steven if he was okay. Apparently, Marlee had pooed in the sac and so the sight of the fluid was less than pleasent and didn't do well with Steven's weak stomach. He was fine though...back in the game within seconds!

It is true when they say that pressure is natures best pain reliever! As I continued to push, I didn't want to stop. It felt amazing to just fight the pain with strength of that sort!

And fighting is what I did...three pushes later, Marlee Monroe Paloma was in my arms at 1:19pm! A humorous note at this point too: the flight nurse who delivered her right then got a call and had to leave for a flight!

Because she had pooed in the sac, I didn't get to hold but for seconds and they wisked her over to the newborn bed to check her all out. Steven leaned down and in tears gave me a kiss and told me he loves me. I didn't cry...I was just simply happy!

I did tear along the left side and had to be stitched...but I was able to walk right after that and aside from a little bit of stinging pain (tolerable), I was ready to go!!!

As Steven will put it, I was skipping from delivery to post-partum! :)

I don't have my camera with me so I'm unable to post a brand new picture of Marlee..but here's a very cute one at age 2 weeks!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Come on Baby Come on!

Well, I think it's down to the wire!

Was checked twice today and went from 3.5cm to 4cm dilated...

Contractions are progressively getting stronger and longer...and are 3-6 minutes apart...

Come on Baby Come on!!!!!!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Bombs and Aftershocks...

I think it's okay to admit this openly...just know that I'm thoroughly scared...

A couple evenings back something snapped in me. It's not the first time it's happened. In fact, I've been going through spells since I was 16 years old. But this time, it all came crashing down on the person that didn't deserve it one bit.

Somewhere in my mind things get mixed up. Sparks fly to the wrong recepters and bombs start to go off. When these bombs go off in my head, they transfer all their aftershocks to my heart and things start to tremble there.

In my heart, things start to break...walls have to be built quickly to make this all calm down.

At such points, I find myself literally going from screaming mad to hysteria within moments. This isn't normal...at all...

My only solace is to curl up in the bottom of the bathtub with my hands over my ears, tight. This blocks out everything but my breathing and then I can calm myself.

Unfortunately, it doesn't always work. That's when I need him. I need that warm embrace...that calm heartbeat next to my ear...

I've never once understood what really makes these sparks get confused in my head. But I do know that I should probably get some help with them before it all goes too far someday...

Some like to say insanity is an artform...well, I sure hope it is...cause I'm Van Gogh damnit!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


I guess its just destiny to be having a little June-bug now....I mean, May-bug just doesn't sound quite as good! ha

I'm now 1 day overdue..not a big deal...but still a little disappointing!

This morning at my doc's appt they finally checked my cervix and everything. I'm 2.5cm dialated, my cervix is thinning, and there's bulge in my amnionic sack. Soooooo...hopefully it'll be very soon!

My contractions today have been about 8 minutes apart as opposed to the 10 they were just a few days ago!

If I don't have this baby by Monday, then we'll be talking induction...