Tuesday, February 28, 2012

I think....

I think someday I'll be a cute, put-together mom...

I won't look like previous blog photo with my make-up all smudgy and gross from a day without care. And my hair all pushed aside because I just don't care about that either...

I'll be cute in scarfs and outfits like my Polyvore feed shows!

But I guess I have to start remembering to take care of myself first...

In the midst of that, I've gathered up all my inner strength I can muster and began cooking good for me foods!

Things like baked chicken breasts with a dash of black pepper. Mounds of veggies (which were never really a problem). Baked tilapia filets to feast on in a multitude of ways.

*sigh*

If only these things worked over night.

Sadly, I'm beaten down by the way I've let myself go over the last six months. Why in the world would I ever allow myself to not be a cute, put-together mom!? Especially, since I'm single!?

Ay-yi-yi...

It's okay. These things happen, right? (Please say I'm right, I don't have anything else to go on)

So, at 26 years old, I think I'll figure out finally who I am supposed to be! I hope!

Anyone else go through this??? I hope I'm not alone! I hope one day that Marlee can peer at me and wonder in complete awe at how in the world I managed a full time job, school, raising her, and losing weight...cause, well, that's what I'm facing!

Sunday, February 26, 2012

THE REAL LIFE MARLEE AND ME!

Yep...that's us!

Friday, February 24, 2012

Finally Friday...one week closer!


Last night, while chilling in her very cool waffle pajamas, anxiously waiting for me to start reading a plethora of books to her, Marlee cuddled with her sock monkey that we've aptly named Butthole.


Yeah, I'm -that- mom...her dad and I named him Butthole because his butt and his face are basically the same pattern and we just have to laugh at the fact that the mouth and the butthole are the same size and shape! Maybe when Marlee can talk better she'll name him something else!


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I've neglected to be very informant as of late...


I got the State Farm job!!!!!! This morning I took the highly uncomfortable potty test (sheesh I am a mom...potty is now a normal word for me). Now I just get to finish out my time here at Coca-Cola and enjoy 3 weeks of down time a.k.a. go-through-everything-in-the-house-time and start a new adventure!


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I'm finding myself more and more comfortable with wearing my odd concoctions out in public. I live in a fairly straight laced area of Colorado, so I think I stand out. But oh well! I'm happy to finally feel like me!


Now if only I could get rid of this extra weight I'm carrying around, then I'll REALLY feel like me!


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I bought a laptop computer! I'm terribly excited about it. But not so excited about the fact that I have to wait until March 1st to get it!!! GRRRRR...I can't wait to blog from it! :)


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*sigh* 2 more weeks....and my life flips again....

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Oh no! She tried to pour water on my phone when i attempted to take a nakey pic of her! Adventures of the real Marlee and me!

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Friday, February 17, 2012

Greek yogurt trumps milk in the moustache department! Just ask Miss Marlee!

Friday at last...

Knowing that my working world is slowly coming to an end, has made these weeks go by incredibly slow! I want nothing more than to just be done with this chapter and moved on to the next.

Ah, time, you're a torturous maiden!

Funny thought...I kind of want an iPhone simply for the Instagram app...yeah, I just want to have a bunch of fun pics to post... Like when Marlee is sporting a delicious Greek Yogurt moustache instead of milk. She's a cool-kid like that! (May just e-mail that photo to the blog...yeah, that's the long way to do it!)

I'm lately counting on having 3 weeks between jobs and I'm compiling a list already what I want to do with those 3 weeks...

Here's what I've got going so far:


  1. Clean out house. Like, legitimately clean out the cupboards and donate anything I haven't used in the last 6 months!

  2. READ...read the massive amount of books I have adding up on my Kindle Fire.

  3. Workout. Like a mad-woman...maybe I can lose a little weight next month...

I don't think they're impossible feats for 3 weeks...but we'll see how truly motivated I get once the time hits!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Numbers Don't Lie...

...and they're bitches!

I guess my city-life will just have to wait until I'm for certain going to have a grown-up career!

I interviewed for State Farm yesterday morning. I think it went well. I should have answer next week.

I'd fall short moving to Denver to even remotely pay for daycare. I just can't do that kind of struggle. Once Marlee hits school-age, I think I can then have my dreams...but until then, I'm hopeful for this State Farm job!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Tailspins aren't as fun as they sound!

So, it's funny that I wrote the last blog.

The very next day we got the announcement that they are shutting down Greeley Coca-Cola. We knew it was coming. Things have gotten incredibly boring around the office and so, luckily, I'd been searching the job world for some time.

The bad news is that the doors close March 9th.

Yeah, you read that right, ONE stinkin' month to decide the fate of my next few years!

Not even a month actually, because we're supposed to let the folks in Denver know if we're transferring by February 27th...

Shit...19 days...

I can't decide my future in 26 years, let alone 19 days!!! WTF?!

Soooo...here I am....

Spinning....

Not really knowing what to do.

I have options...

OPTION 1: Transfer to Denver Coca-Cola...move to Denver...get my city life...but leave my family and friends and school behind (school for the moment)
OPTION 2: Find a new job...stay here...still go to UNC this summer...
OPTION 3: Take my severance...apply for unemployment...get student loans...go to school and live off loans...

Option 3 is a little too scary for my liking...

Option 2 seems the logical choice....

Option 1 would give me what I crave with a wild dose of struggle...

AHHHH!!!!

Adding more confusion to an already spinning wave, I've got an interview with State Farm tomorrow morning. This would lead to Option 2. And I think would be easiest on everyone involved in my life.

"Ok..." you say, "What's the tailspin for then!?"

Well...I still really crave that city life...
Still really want to raise Marlee in the diverse culture a city has to offer.
I still want to wear mismatched things and not worry about what other people think! (Like today, red tanktop with a mauve cardigan...sure it looks at pretty and Valentine-y...but people probably think I'm blind around these parts!)

Oh and don't forget my yellow painted fingernails to go with the red and mauve...yeah...I'm colorful! But I love it!

I'm digging...digging deep into the depths of my lost and confused heart and soul (that's a lot of D-words and "and"s)...I just want to make the right decision for the rest of my life.

Another sidenote: I do understand that once I'm finished with school in 3-4 years, I can move to a city then...and by then Marlee will be school age so it won't be as difficult because I won't have to pay the crazy prices of daycare...

Do I even make sense anymore!?

Shit...spinning...damn you tailspin!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Dear City Girl...

I love you.
I love how chic you make even going to the corner store seem.
I love how culture just radiates from your daily life.
Oh City Girl, I want to be you.

Much (heart aching) Love,
The Lost Country Girl

Yep...I'm struggling.
I've been "city" before. My 3 month stint in Dublin, Ireland only gave me a taste of what I long for!
I tear up every time I read a post from someone living in a city somewhere.
I'm yearning for a life that I feel happy in...

This isn't it.

But I'm here for at least 3 years. Face the facts, I need a career before I make bold moves. My daughter deserves that much.

Sadly, my dad told me on Friday that he would be disappointed if I moved Marlee away from him!!! How in the world am I ever going to get where I want to be if I have that on my tails?! Ugh, Dad, do you know how much that hurt?? **sad face** At least, I know he loves us.

Screw this, I'm going to search apartment listings in all the major cities I'd love to be in!!! I need something to help me get this out of my system for the time being!

Portland...
Denver...
Seattle...
New York City (probably not, but, sure)...
Boston...

That'll do for now...

Friday, February 3, 2012

I vow...

To be more active!

And with this vow, comes fantastically fun 5k's!!!

Like this one:

The Color Run: Colorado

Now, I must be honest, I'm not a runner. I suck at running. BUT, I'm willing to give anything a try. Last year I ran my first 5k. I believe it took me 45 minutes. Which isn't too bad. But I'd love to be even more fit and ready to do this one so I don't feel like I'm just dragging my friend behind me!

So, alas, comes yet another workout plan!

Maybe with a goal like the 5k itself, I can manage to get something going...