You ever have those days/nights when something happens that you wish you could just take back and make better?!
Well, I'm suffering today because of last night...
Last night, I got some disturbing texts from my ex boyfriend (and good currently good friend) that made me concerned for his life. So I convinced him that he needed to come down and hang out with us just to get his mind right. Well, he did...but didn't make it down until extremely late so he ended up talking with Steven and I and then sleeping on the couch. Seems harmless really...but no, it's not. There's just been a lot between this ex and I over the last year and having him in the same house as my current -live in- boyfriend wasn't the smartest thing at all!!! I'm kicking myself hard right now...especially since Steven has told me he's hurt and upset about it.
I'm not really sure how to make this right...and to be honest, I just want to crawl in a hole and sleep for the entire weekend.
I dont want to make excuses, but I was pretty intoxicated last night...and I wish my better judgement had taken over instead of my "spur of the moment". I just want to take it all back and make things better...
Aside from that, I've been given an extra 6 hours at work per week. On Monday and Thursday, I'll continue coming in at 1pm because I'll stay later for the cleaning people. But Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday, I'll come to work at 11am to gain some more hours. I desperately need it and I'm glad my boss has been so understanding. I had to have Jaime go in and do the talking for me though because I get super emotional and really didn't want to cry in front of him. The real kicker of it all was today is pay day and I've got an Excel spreadsheet I use to keep track of my bills and I realized that IF I make $800 this month, I'll be lucky. I'm currently looking at having to pay over $700 in bills....how in the world do I make this work!?!?!?! I'll probably end up not paying something...just like last month :(
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