I've started another blog that I'm kind of focusing some creativity toward. I don't know that it'll specifically focus on any creative outlet in particular though. Thus far, I've got some words on photography, beauty, and fashion....
Check it out!
http://kendra-simplepleasures.blogspot.com/
Friday, February 27, 2009
Another day in paradise...
Another day in paradise...another song in the air...another contest down the drain!
Decided last minute to attend the karaoke finals last night that I'd qualified for. I won last months...really wasn't expecting to win this months...but in all reality, I really really -really- didn't want a fellow "karaoke-er" to win. She sings the same songs over and over and over and over and over..and....well, you get the point. It's never anything new and exciting from her! Well, she won....damn joke if you ask me!!! I just wish people would realize how ridiculous they are when they don't have anything new or when they are simply just disliked by so many others... We can give her the cold shoulder and she'll still come up and hug us or get in our faces...sorry, HELLO...we dont like you! Whatev..
Aside from that little rant, I don't know. I think I've got an eating disorder. Well, I think I've had it for a while...I really really -really- hate to eat because I feel like poo afterwards. And it's not like I'm eating things that I can't have...I'm just not fond of feeling full...but then again, I'm not fond of feeling hungry either. To be honest, I get a twinge of hunger...if I eat a bite of something then I'll be fine....but instead, I just eat a meal and then I feel like poo.... I literally have to force myself to eat sometimes...so does Steven. Dunno...I'm a jumbled mess today!
TGIF!
Decided last minute to attend the karaoke finals last night that I'd qualified for. I won last months...really wasn't expecting to win this months...but in all reality, I really really -really- didn't want a fellow "karaoke-er" to win. She sings the same songs over and over and over and over and over..and....well, you get the point. It's never anything new and exciting from her! Well, she won....damn joke if you ask me!!! I just wish people would realize how ridiculous they are when they don't have anything new or when they are simply just disliked by so many others... We can give her the cold shoulder and she'll still come up and hug us or get in our faces...sorry, HELLO...we dont like you! Whatev..
Aside from that little rant, I don't know. I think I've got an eating disorder. Well, I think I've had it for a while...I really really -really- hate to eat because I feel like poo afterwards. And it's not like I'm eating things that I can't have...I'm just not fond of feeling full...but then again, I'm not fond of feeling hungry either. To be honest, I get a twinge of hunger...if I eat a bite of something then I'll be fine....but instead, I just eat a meal and then I feel like poo.... I literally have to force myself to eat sometimes...so does Steven. Dunno...I'm a jumbled mess today!
TGIF!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
One down...
Well, we had a bit of a falling out with the original puppy owners last night. They were very vengeful and ultimately the conclusion was that Steven and I are "Back-stabbing, two-faced, drunken thieves". Hmmm...I'd bet the consensus would say otherwise..but what do I know!?
So, in the end, they came and picked up Miss (the mom dog) and one of the puppies that was promised to the girlfriend's mother. We made sure that she came with them because we wanted to be able to tell her Shadow's temperament and everything...the way that it SHOULD be! I'm awfully troubled about it all though. I just hope that Miss and Shadow end up okay in the end.
We're now stuck with five puppies who are basically freaking out because they're being made to ween quickly from their mother. Steven slept on the couch last night with the puppies out of the kennel cause all they could do was scream...literally...scream for their mom and/or something! It was a long night! So, we'll see how this'll go....
So, in the end, they came and picked up Miss (the mom dog) and one of the puppies that was promised to the girlfriend's mother. We made sure that she came with them because we wanted to be able to tell her Shadow's temperament and everything...the way that it SHOULD be! I'm awfully troubled about it all though. I just hope that Miss and Shadow end up okay in the end.
We're now stuck with five puppies who are basically freaking out because they're being made to ween quickly from their mother. Steven slept on the couch last night with the puppies out of the kennel cause all they could do was scream...literally...scream for their mom and/or something! It was a long night! So, we'll see how this'll go....
Friday, February 20, 2009
Le puppies...
So, we've noticed that the puppies are really coming into their own lately! Each of them has a great different personality from the others! I'm going to be quite sad to see them go..but I certainly can't keep 6 dogs! EEK!
Scrappy- She's the runt...cute as a button...black and white...certainly has "little puppy" syndrome and always wants to growl, bark, and beat her siblings!
J (Tut)- Found out that she's a girl so we've renamed her January...She's a lover and a fighter. She's super playful but always wants to stay close to you no matter what. She also is the only one with wavy hair! So pretty..
Ziona (our dog)- Really looks like a blue heeler rather than a lab...she's agressive in a good way and is one of the bigger dogs. She definitely knows it too. She always falls asleep on me and I love it! :)
Stripe- He was kind of shy at first...didn't really come out of the kennel...but now that he has he's beginning to play more and loves to bite on tails more than anything. He's like the silent one of the group and really is just a lover.
Twin- Well, to be honest, he's an asshole! ha! He's basically all muscle already and bullies all the other dogs. But he does get his when Ziona or Scrappy get upset!
Shadow- he's the only one that looks like a lab really...all black except one white spot on his chest...he's the sweetest of the boys and really likes to cuddle a lot with the others. He'll run around and play a little but doesn't like too much contact sport.
Scrappy- She's the runt...cute as a button...black and white...certainly has "little puppy" syndrome and always wants to growl, bark, and beat her siblings!
J (Tut)- Found out that she's a girl so we've renamed her January...She's a lover and a fighter. She's super playful but always wants to stay close to you no matter what. She also is the only one with wavy hair! So pretty..
Ziona (our dog)- Really looks like a blue heeler rather than a lab...she's agressive in a good way and is one of the bigger dogs. She definitely knows it too. She always falls asleep on me and I love it! :)
Stripe- He was kind of shy at first...didn't really come out of the kennel...but now that he has he's beginning to play more and loves to bite on tails more than anything. He's like the silent one of the group and really is just a lover.
Twin- Well, to be honest, he's an asshole! ha! He's basically all muscle already and bullies all the other dogs. But he does get his when Ziona or Scrappy get upset!
Shadow- he's the only one that looks like a lab really...all black except one white spot on his chest...he's the sweetest of the boys and really likes to cuddle a lot with the others. He'll run around and play a little but doesn't like too much contact sport.
Beautiful day in the neighborhood....
Weather is fantastic..minus the chilly wind! But I'm digging the almost Spring-like days! :)
Woke up early this morning (8am) cause I had a few things to get done...and honestly, I feel awesome because I did get up at a decent time! :) I'm going to keep up with it! Even if I just get up and read a book...at least I get out of bed!
Steven is in a fabulous mood today as well...I think it's because we extinguished the "abusers" from almost everything. It's unfortunately that our friend is basically losing us to a girl..but she's just a piece of work that we can't really stand any longer... His mistakes to make...we'll always be there for him...but we're never going to really support the craziness!
Woke up early this morning (8am) cause I had a few things to get done...and honestly, I feel awesome because I did get up at a decent time! :) I'm going to keep up with it! Even if I just get up and read a book...at least I get out of bed!
Steven is in a fabulous mood today as well...I think it's because we extinguished the "abusers" from almost everything. It's unfortunately that our friend is basically losing us to a girl..but she's just a piece of work that we can't really stand any longer... His mistakes to make...we'll always be there for him...but we're never going to really support the craziness!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Abuse..
Abuse really comes in many forms. I realize that since Steven and I are so helpful and caring people are going to continually use us. Two people in particular.
We have a couple friends...well, he's our friend...she's his "girlfriend". They're the people we're already taking care of dogs for. So in my 420 square feet I've got myself, Steven, Ewok (my sweet cat), and their 7 dogs. Granted, one is ours (maybe two if Steven finds a job), but we were only supposed to have them for a week and then he'd take them back. But then he got an apartment where they're not allowed..therefore, they stay with us. Okay, so that's established...ABUSE #1. Now, today, Steven and his mother are at their old house (that they're supposed to be out of tomorrow) cleaning the whole darn thing!!! Granted, our friend is at work and he works a lot of the time, but his "girlfriend" has taken the only vehicle out and about and hasn't returned to even remotely help, let alone get Steven and his mother back to his mother's place where my car is so that Steven can come get me at work!!! WTF?! I'm rather angry..and I'm not even there doing the labor. She's a worthless person, a horrible mother (I hate to say that, but it's true), and nothing but a user when it comes to our friend! ABUSE #2!
I guess we'd better just open a kennel and a cleaning service, then we wouldn't feel so bad...
We have a couple friends...well, he's our friend...she's his "girlfriend". They're the people we're already taking care of dogs for. So in my 420 square feet I've got myself, Steven, Ewok (my sweet cat), and their 7 dogs. Granted, one is ours (maybe two if Steven finds a job), but we were only supposed to have them for a week and then he'd take them back. But then he got an apartment where they're not allowed..therefore, they stay with us. Okay, so that's established...ABUSE #1. Now, today, Steven and his mother are at their old house (that they're supposed to be out of tomorrow) cleaning the whole darn thing!!! Granted, our friend is at work and he works a lot of the time, but his "girlfriend" has taken the only vehicle out and about and hasn't returned to even remotely help, let alone get Steven and his mother back to his mother's place where my car is so that Steven can come get me at work!!! WTF?! I'm rather angry..and I'm not even there doing the labor. She's a worthless person, a horrible mother (I hate to say that, but it's true), and nothing but a user when it comes to our friend! ABUSE #2!
I guess we'd better just open a kennel and a cleaning service, then we wouldn't feel so bad...
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Have you ever...
Have you ever stopped to evaluate the things that are really happening in your life?? In my failed attempt to sleep last night, I did a lot of thinking about the recession, my current situation, and what's to come.
This recession is honestly kicking my butt. The drivers aren't out as late because the orders are dwindling and therefore, I'm not at work for as many hours as I really need. Granted, my boss has given me the okay to come in two hours earlier three times a week, but I don't know that it'll really help too much. It'll essentially give me 28 hours a week instead of 22. I did get tenative word today that they're wanting someone to go around and doing audits on the product dates and they've put me on the list to do that.
My current situation...I'm working those 28 hours, striving to get my bills paid, but in all reality I can't pay most of them each month and its just adding up bigger and bigger... My biggest issue is that my small income is paying for two people. I know Steven means well, and is looking for jobs on a daily basis, but I'm feeling the crunch no matter what. I don't think he really sees how bad off we really are...maybe I should make a sheet to show him...and show myself...
What's to come in the future with these things going on?? I'd like to think that my tax return will certainly help. But I don't know how much I'll get back nor where I'll put that money. Should I pay off one card (or a portion)?? Should I put a little to each thing??? Should I use it as our spending money??? I don't even know...
Somewhere, there's answers...
This recession is honestly kicking my butt. The drivers aren't out as late because the orders are dwindling and therefore, I'm not at work for as many hours as I really need. Granted, my boss has given me the okay to come in two hours earlier three times a week, but I don't know that it'll really help too much. It'll essentially give me 28 hours a week instead of 22. I did get tenative word today that they're wanting someone to go around and doing audits on the product dates and they've put me on the list to do that.
My current situation...I'm working those 28 hours, striving to get my bills paid, but in all reality I can't pay most of them each month and its just adding up bigger and bigger... My biggest issue is that my small income is paying for two people. I know Steven means well, and is looking for jobs on a daily basis, but I'm feeling the crunch no matter what. I don't think he really sees how bad off we really are...maybe I should make a sheet to show him...and show myself...
What's to come in the future with these things going on?? I'd like to think that my tax return will certainly help. But I don't know how much I'll get back nor where I'll put that money. Should I pay off one card (or a portion)?? Should I put a little to each thing??? Should I use it as our spending money??? I don't even know...
Somewhere, there's answers...
Monday, February 16, 2009
An interesting realization...
Well, while laying in bed, unable to sleep, last night. I thought for about an hour about all the things that I'd gotten myself into recently. The one that kept creeping in (mainly cause he was snoring next to me) is that Steven is living with me. Now, it's not a bad thing, by any means. But I worry because essentially what it means is that if we grow apart or things don't work, then the break-up would be that much harder.
Let me keep this straight though, I don't believe that he and I will break up anytime soon or ever. We certainly have far, far, far too much in common and we're always on the same page. He even knows to just let me be if I'm stressed out because I say things that I don't mean. Not to mention, the next step is us having the puppies together...that's essentially a "kids" step...
I don't know what was coming over me last night. I guess I'm just concerned about being "tied down" and having to deal with life as it comes over and over and over again when its never really where and what I want.
I still have the dreams to live in Oregon...to find my personal, artistic self again...to be calm, collected, and alone...but I suppose those things can all still happen but with him intertwined....
Let me keep this straight though, I don't believe that he and I will break up anytime soon or ever. We certainly have far, far, far too much in common and we're always on the same page. He even knows to just let me be if I'm stressed out because I say things that I don't mean. Not to mention, the next step is us having the puppies together...that's essentially a "kids" step...
I don't know what was coming over me last night. I guess I'm just concerned about being "tied down" and having to deal with life as it comes over and over and over again when its never really where and what I want.
I still have the dreams to live in Oregon...to find my personal, artistic self again...to be calm, collected, and alone...but I suppose those things can all still happen but with him intertwined....
Friday, February 13, 2009
Artistic senses....
KT Tunstall
Jewel
Rachel McGoyeI'm longing for something...
I'm longing for me, my piano, my voice, in a coffee house...singing to my hearts content....
Nothing major..but really, I'm feeling the need to channel some acoustic artistry. Steven said that he'd absolutely love to see me do that! Funny thing, he's the first person to really be just excited as I am about it all....so I guess I'll use him as my inspiration and my support...
I think I'll use my spare time to write songs...learn the guitar...sing...
I'm longing for me, my piano, my voice, in a coffee house...singing to my hearts content....
Nothing major..but really, I'm feeling the need to channel some acoustic artistry. Steven said that he'd absolutely love to see me do that! Funny thing, he's the first person to really be just excited as I am about it all....so I guess I'll use him as my inspiration and my support...
I think I'll use my spare time to write songs...learn the guitar...sing...
To be loved...
The comment left on my last post is absolutely correct. I had a path...I was going to be with someone that I thought was for me...and we'd work for life...but then things happened...and I met Steven...and look where I am now...completely loved...
Steven and I were laying on the couch last night while watching movies. Something we always do. Well, it was different last night because about every ten minutes he'd squeeze me, kiss me, put his face against mine, and tell me that he loves me so much. I don't know that I've felt that love from another person in such a long long time. He also has a way of always having his hand, arm, leg, something next to me or on me all night long.
It's always the little things that really make love worth something though. Like today, I came to work without eating anything and I'm okay with that, but Steven won't let it happen. So he brings me food if I'm hungry. Today, he called and asked if I wanted food...brought me some, hot off the stove...and along with that a Valentine's Day card. In it he confessed his love to me...and just how happy he was able to meet me, etc.
I don't know....seems all like a bunch of "mumbo-jumbo" to people I'm sure. And I guess it's probably difficult to put into words how I really do feel about it all...but I'm just excited that this path is developing and hope that I can keep it going.
Truthfully, (my mind just keeps thinking of things to write about), the last 10 weeks with Steven have been crazy..and we've made it through two arrests, fights, friends pushing stress to the max, and even moving in together unintentionally...I think we can do this....seriously....
Steven and I were laying on the couch last night while watching movies. Something we always do. Well, it was different last night because about every ten minutes he'd squeeze me, kiss me, put his face against mine, and tell me that he loves me so much. I don't know that I've felt that love from another person in such a long long time. He also has a way of always having his hand, arm, leg, something next to me or on me all night long.
It's always the little things that really make love worth something though. Like today, I came to work without eating anything and I'm okay with that, but Steven won't let it happen. So he brings me food if I'm hungry. Today, he called and asked if I wanted food...brought me some, hot off the stove...and along with that a Valentine's Day card. In it he confessed his love to me...and just how happy he was able to meet me, etc.
I don't know....seems all like a bunch of "mumbo-jumbo" to people I'm sure. And I guess it's probably difficult to put into words how I really do feel about it all...but I'm just excited that this path is developing and hope that I can keep it going.
Truthfully, (my mind just keeps thinking of things to write about), the last 10 weeks with Steven have been crazy..and we've made it through two arrests, fights, friends pushing stress to the max, and even moving in together unintentionally...I think we can do this....seriously....
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Side steps...
I've always wondered if the paths that I walk are really going to help shape the person that I am in the future...
Lately I kind of feel like I take two steps forward then something or someone pushes me aside and I forget what path I was going on...
Lately I kind of feel like I take two steps forward then something or someone pushes me aside and I forget what path I was going on...
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
"Sunshine on my shoulder.."
I had a great night last night with my dad...he really wasn't hard on me about the whole DUI thing. (Which, by the way, hasn't really been convicted totally cause I have to go to court still) We just had some soup and sandwiches and watched a movie together while my mom was at work. Steven went and hung out with his mom as well. I think we're going to keep Tuesday nights as "Parent's Night" that way we get some time with them and some time apart. :)
Today, beautiful weather! Yesterday was groggy and dull..which I love...but at the same time, days like today just put a smile on everyone's face! On top of that, I've been working like a mad-woman today and have everything all caught up...its a nice feeling. Although, I'm bored! haha
I'm ready to go home tonight, eat some mac n cheese, and clean the house a little! :) I think I might make Steven watch The O.C. with me! hahaha I've had the hankerin' to watch it again!
Today, beautiful weather! Yesterday was groggy and dull..which I love...but at the same time, days like today just put a smile on everyone's face! On top of that, I've been working like a mad-woman today and have everything all caught up...its a nice feeling. Although, I'm bored! haha
I'm ready to go home tonight, eat some mac n cheese, and clean the house a little! :) I think I might make Steven watch The O.C. with me! hahaha I've had the hankerin' to watch it again!
Monday, February 9, 2009
Handcuff bracelets...
Well, chalk one more up for life kicking my butt!!!
I'm the proud, okay, not proud...I'm the disappointed owner of my very own DUI. Yep...D...U....I....
It's a simple story really...but I'm tired of talking about it. So I'm just going to roll with my feelings on this one.
I know that I'll never be good enough now. My mother already looks (always has) at me like I'm a disappointment. Not to mention her side of the family does as well. I'm a college drop-out, divorced, in debt up to my ears (more now), and now I have a DUI. Yep...I'm worthless! I'll never be my brother, that's for sure. And I think that's just what she wants.
So, needless to say, I'm feeling pretty awful right now. I mean, it is what it is...and I knew better, by far! But the situation was dumb and I got the blunt of it...
I'm the proud, okay, not proud...I'm the disappointed owner of my very own DUI. Yep...D...U....I....
It's a simple story really...but I'm tired of talking about it. So I'm just going to roll with my feelings on this one.
I know that I'll never be good enough now. My mother already looks (always has) at me like I'm a disappointment. Not to mention her side of the family does as well. I'm a college drop-out, divorced, in debt up to my ears (more now), and now I have a DUI. Yep...I'm worthless! I'll never be my brother, that's for sure. And I think that's just what she wants.
So, needless to say, I'm feeling pretty awful right now. I mean, it is what it is...and I knew better, by far! But the situation was dumb and I got the blunt of it...
Friday, February 6, 2009
A whole mess....a really big mess....
You ever have those days/nights when something happens that you wish you could just take back and make better?!
Well, I'm suffering today because of last night...
Last night, I got some disturbing texts from my ex boyfriend (and good currently good friend) that made me concerned for his life. So I convinced him that he needed to come down and hang out with us just to get his mind right. Well, he did...but didn't make it down until extremely late so he ended up talking with Steven and I and then sleeping on the couch. Seems harmless really...but no, it's not. There's just been a lot between this ex and I over the last year and having him in the same house as my current -live in- boyfriend wasn't the smartest thing at all!!! I'm kicking myself hard right now...especially since Steven has told me he's hurt and upset about it.
I'm not really sure how to make this right...and to be honest, I just want to crawl in a hole and sleep for the entire weekend.
I dont want to make excuses, but I was pretty intoxicated last night...and I wish my better judgement had taken over instead of my "spur of the moment". I just want to take it all back and make things better...
Aside from that, I've been given an extra 6 hours at work per week. On Monday and Thursday, I'll continue coming in at 1pm because I'll stay later for the cleaning people. But Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday, I'll come to work at 11am to gain some more hours. I desperately need it and I'm glad my boss has been so understanding. I had to have Jaime go in and do the talking for me though because I get super emotional and really didn't want to cry in front of him. The real kicker of it all was today is pay day and I've got an Excel spreadsheet I use to keep track of my bills and I realized that IF I make $800 this month, I'll be lucky. I'm currently looking at having to pay over $700 in bills....how in the world do I make this work!?!?!?! I'll probably end up not paying something...just like last month :(
Well, I'm suffering today because of last night...
Last night, I got some disturbing texts from my ex boyfriend (and good currently good friend) that made me concerned for his life. So I convinced him that he needed to come down and hang out with us just to get his mind right. Well, he did...but didn't make it down until extremely late so he ended up talking with Steven and I and then sleeping on the couch. Seems harmless really...but no, it's not. There's just been a lot between this ex and I over the last year and having him in the same house as my current -live in- boyfriend wasn't the smartest thing at all!!! I'm kicking myself hard right now...especially since Steven has told me he's hurt and upset about it.
I'm not really sure how to make this right...and to be honest, I just want to crawl in a hole and sleep for the entire weekend.
I dont want to make excuses, but I was pretty intoxicated last night...and I wish my better judgement had taken over instead of my "spur of the moment". I just want to take it all back and make things better...
Aside from that, I've been given an extra 6 hours at work per week. On Monday and Thursday, I'll continue coming in at 1pm because I'll stay later for the cleaning people. But Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday, I'll come to work at 11am to gain some more hours. I desperately need it and I'm glad my boss has been so understanding. I had to have Jaime go in and do the talking for me though because I get super emotional and really didn't want to cry in front of him. The real kicker of it all was today is pay day and I've got an Excel spreadsheet I use to keep track of my bills and I realized that IF I make $800 this month, I'll be lucky. I'm currently looking at having to pay over $700 in bills....how in the world do I make this work!?!?!?! I'll probably end up not paying something...just like last month :(
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Life...in recession form...
I'm amazed at the things we can all live without in times like these. Also, in one of my internet groups on Sparkpeople.com, we talk to people from the UK as well as around the USA. I was surprised to learn that they're in quite the recession as well. Money is tough no matter where you go!
Somewhere, somehow....we'll see relief!
Somewhere, somehow....we'll see relief!
Monday, February 2, 2009
Weekends are interesting...
Friday night was the finals for January's Rockstar of the Month karaoke contest! Guess what?! I won!!! :) I was really surprised...and really, all the contestants (including me) were getting pretty drunk! haha
Saturday was a crazy night of drinking. We watched the UFC fights at Buffalo Wild Wings with Matt and Pedro. It was fun cause they're both into MMA like Steven is! So it was entertaining. I wanted to go home after the fights but the guys all wanted to hit up a couple other bars. It ended the night in Steven quite drunk and me frustrated. I'm just ready for adult fun...no more of this college whatever, bar lifestyle! DONE! We'll see if I can really hold to that though...I'm too poor and too grown to have it all still!
Sunday, we went to my parents for a yummy lasagna dinner and then watched the Super Bowl. I made the executive decision to stay there for the game instead of going to someone else's house because Steven had been drunk the night before and he's sick on top of it all. Plus, I didn't want to deal with the problems yet again! I also needed the time to do my laundry. Got that done...went home...and went to bed.
On a much LIGHTER note, I have a couple pics of our puppies!!! Ziona opened her eyes this weekend and Steven just called to tell me that she's walking around on all four of her legs!! YAY! :)
The first one is Ziona and the second one is King Tut (Steven is holding him too). I'll hopefully get a few more pictures tonight when I go to pick up Steven at Eric's after work! :)
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