Saturday, February 23, 2008

Not sure...

There's something heartwarmingly simple about finding a peace within yourself. That strength to once again write because you feel whole...almost.

I had this urge just now that everything seemed right. I haven't text Miles in about a day and for some reason I don't need to. I wonder how he's doing, what he's up to, but I find no reason in asking. I find that for some reason, tonight, I'm self-sufficient!

It's hard to explain...really hard to explain. I wish I had the words to define the feelings I'm having. I want ever so much to find that person that just gets me. Not just listen and they state, "I know how you feel" without so much as an explanation to why they would even remotely understand. It just leaves everything so blank...and I'm afraid that's all I seem to have gotten lately.

With the prospects of tomorrow, I'm wondering if I'll find someone that will hold something in me upward rather than down. I'm not in need of love anymore. I need myself first and foremost..but I am in need of reliable friendship. That's it...-reliable-.

I want friends that will listen...promote...and encourage. And not just on their own time...truly care enough to stop by and say HI or to text me asking what I'm doing rather than me always initiating everything.

Okay, I'm not really sure where this is going anymore...but in all that blunder, I simply realize I want -reliable- people in my life...

1 comment:

Jackie said...

Kendra that makes me happy to hear! I know I am not a very self-sufficient person, in fact I am a dependent and that's evident when I think about ever having to live in a different city as Mike. But I'm really happy that you want to surround yourself with people who will make you feel good! There is no reason you should have to wait for someone to make time for you or feel like you are constantly having to pester someone. If they are right for you whether for friendship or as a lover you will never ever have to beg! They will just be there. And they won't get pesky when you -do- bug :)