Dear...

Dear Little Kids on the Sidewalks,

I'm sorry that Steven is such a nut and is wearing a giant chicken costume 2 days before Halloween. I know it might be a little frightening, but he really is just trying to make people laugh!

Understanding completely,
Kendra

Dear "Awww"-ers in the stores,

Yes, Marlee is ABSOLUTELY adorable in her ladybug costume, but didn't you see that I had the ladybug wings and antennae on too!! We match!!! Isn't that worth something!?

Slightly jealous,
Kendra

Dear Silvermine Subs employee,

Thanks for making a super delicious sandwich for me today, but I must let you know I'll never eat it again! One, there's a lot of onions on it. I don't really like onions. Two, it has 1011 calories and 69 grams of fat! I know, I'm disappointed too. But I just can't find it in myself to eat that again!

Forgive me,
Kendra

Why was it so hard??

I did something the other day that I didn't think would actually be hard...

I sorted through Marlee's clothes...boxed up the ones that don't fit her anymore!

It was really hard...like seriously, wanted to cry hard...I don't know why!

Luckily, I'm passing the clothes onto friends that will definitely cherish them and enjoy them...but I'm sad their not hanging in our closet anymore... *sigh*

The stupid things that happen to us mothers...haha

Wish I wasn't sick...

Tuesday...forgot to weigh myself this morning...I'm kind of afraid to check it! I got really excited with that 187 and I really don't want to fluctuate above it! Oh well...I'll look soon!

Sick, I hate being sick. I REALLY hate being sick while breastfeeding. I can only take pain relievers like Tylenol and those don't do diddly for a congested head! What I wouldn't give for a dose of Sudafed!

Halloween is approaching...Marlee and I are going to be Ladybugs! I'm rather excited about it!

Steven is going to be a giant Chicken!

Thursday we're talking about going to karaoke and a little costume contest for a couple hours but Steven won't have the chicken costume yet. So, he'll probably dress like a girl....haha! I guess we'll see!

I love rain!

It's been raining off and on today... I love it...

Weighed in at 187lbs...that's right 1-freakin'-87!!! That means I could possibly meet my original Halloween goal of 185...

As it stands now, I've surpassed my new Halloween goal of 188. I re-evaluated them because I wasn't going to let myself fail! So, I changed my overall goal for 20lbs by the New Year rather than 25lbs. But with this week's loss...I'm thinking I just might be able to do it! We'll see!!!

Darn those boobies!

One of my main goals that I set for myself as as mommy is to breastfeed for Marlee's first year. Well, I'm not sure that's going to happen. Unless by some miracle my milk comes back to me!

It's dwindling...a lot. I don't know if it's from the Depo shot, from my eating, from my not having any pre-natal vitamins right now, or what....but I'm scared!

I really don't want it to all go away. I'll feel like I've failed Marlee.

Steven's right though...the other day he told me that I'm just comparing myself to his other kid's mother. She breastfed for FOREVER for Ryan and Trinity...I guess I don't want to let Steven down either...

Ugh...

Darn these stinkin' boobies! Why can't they just be producing enough for Marlee!? Oooohhhh well...

PHOTOS (Con't from 1st blog for today)

This is going to be long...

Okay, so here's the deal...I had a doctor's appointment this morning and I switched birth control from the depo shot to the mini pill (while breastfeeding). Truthfully, I'm excited because I should...get it should...be able to lose more weight now! The dreaded depo shot likes to make you gain weight! Luckily, I was able to maintain...technically lose like 3lbs...while I was on it! But 3lbs in 3 months...that's horrible odds! So now Pill here I come...and you better work for me or I'm going to just be abstinent! Sorry Love, but I can't handle the weight anymore and we're not ready for another baby!

On that note, I weighed in at the doctor's office and I'm at 190...still...I have like a week and a half that I wanted to be at 185...figures...I'm not going to make it! I think I'll re-evaluate my goals now...give myself some more time...we'll see! Wish I could have made 25 lbs lost by New Years!

Okay, Photos: (I should have uploaded these before I wrote my blog...cause now I'm going to have to move everything around and delete spaces.....AHHH Eff-it...I'm going to make a 2nd post)

Soooo, photos on the next post folks!

I ran out of time..

Sorry folks..I have a mess of photos to post and I've run out of time for the day!

Tomorrow...I PROMISE!

Babies and football...

I finally posted my Transformation Photos. They're in a separate page on this blog...click up above to check out how "phat" I am! HA!

This weekend seems like it's super full of things to do!

Tonight, I'm hanging out at a friends...it'll be nice to be out of the house instead of just twidling my thumbs!

Tomorrow, I have a candle party with my mom in the morning...then I'm going to go dancing with some friends while Marlee spends some time with Jaime! :) (Thanks again Jaime!)

Sunday, we're going to head down to Aurora where Steven is going to play full-contact flag football...I'm a little anxious to see how these boys play! It'll be with with some fellas he hasn't seen in about 8 years and used to play semi-professional football with!

After that, on Sunday, we'll head to Parker to visit Shanna and Andy and see brand-new baby Joseph!!! I'm looking forward to introducing Marlee to all her cousins! I think it'll be fun!

Soooo...YEP!

Oh, and the whole posting photo thing...yeah, I keep forgetting my memory card...

PS...I suck at life! ha

What does Mommy mean?

After a few conversations today, I want to know what does Mommy really mean??

Does this mean a woman who has given up all rights to dance about because the child is screaming on the bed and just wants to be held...

Does this mean someone who sleepily walks from her bed to the crib to put the pacifier back in the babies mouth in hopes she'll fall right back to sleep and you won't actually have to wake up...

Does Mommy mean laughing at the silly sounds that come from the babies throat and forgetting what its like to laugh at a dirty joke instead...

Does it mean you workout during the late hours of the night because that's when 30 minutes is uninteruppted and all you want is to be outside running and not squatting in your living room...

I just want to know when Mommy is going to mean all these things PLUS being a social asset, a cleaning fairy, a gourmet cook, and an excellent lover!

Could someone let me know when to expect all these things to exist together?

It's Tuesday again!?

Man, these weeks are certainly flying by! I can't believe it's time to check in again!

Well, I'm still on that silly plateau that I hate...

Standing steady with 189 in my back pocket!

Someone crush that bitch! Ha...185 needs to be my friend by HALLOWEEN and I'm really scared it's not going to happen!

I need my first goal to happen...or I'm going to fall off the wagon!

Lazy...maybe...

Steven's first paycheck comes tonight. And he keeps saying how we might go to Centerra (mall) tomorrow or even maybe the mountains again! I don't care either way...I'm just looking forward to family time for the first time in over a month!!!

We had our extra occupant. Which, was no problem at all, but it got a little on the crowded side sometimes. I really missed just having my happy 3-some of me, Mr, and Bug!

I have photos to share...from our mountain trip last weekend. And a few others..but I'm kind of being lazy..and kind of avoiding making a mess in my office with cords and what not! We're doing some renovating...and heck, it's crazy enough without me trying to edit photos in the midst of it all! :)

So, probably next week folks!

Needless to say...I'm about to super jump myself into high gear! I'm 3 weeks away from my first goal of 185...and I'm 4lbs away!!! "Sure, you've got time Kendra!", you're all thinking! But I don't!!! Ha...I really want my goals to happen this time! REALLY REALLY REALLY!!!

Who says PJ's aren't real clothes?!

Steven has called me twice now just to tell me how cute Marlee looks in her little sleeper she got from Grandma "Goo" (Regina...she aptly named herself this by saying that Marlee's goo was really her trying to say grandma...so we made it a joke and I'm afraid its sticking in my head...oh and she's my mom).

I wish we had footy pajama's that we could just lounge in all day long...

Really, we have had Marlee out in public a few times today too...but she's still in her sleeper! Nice, cozy, warm...

I'm jealous!

Operation HOT MAMA!

Ha, okay, so I was tired of calling today "Tuesday Torture". Sure, it's a little painful some weeks...but lately, my mind is made up and I'm sooooo game to make this work for me!

I'm at a stand-still.

Last week: 189
This week: 189

This isn't necessarily a bad thing...

It's that "time of the month"! Oh dear ole Aunt Flo...you always wreck something!

After reading Jaime's blog, I think I'm going to make a TRANSFORMATION PHOTO page...that way I can SEE how things are going...maybe that'll put some more fire under my butt!

Ok, but back to the blog title. I'm going for Operation Hot Mama...because well, one of my main motivators is that I don't want to be a bad influence for Marlee. I want her to see that it's good to be active and healthy! I don't necesarily want to be SKINNY...but I want to be HEALTHY! Get it!? Mmmkay...

Here's to another week down!