Warmth...

SUMMER!!!!! Who's ready for SUMMER?! I am!!! I've never wanted the warmer weather so bad! I guess, as I'm getting older, I just want to be outside and love life in the fresh Colorado air! :)

Summer Days by kendra0119 featuring Old Navy t-shirts

Now I just need a great summer, lazy outfit....hmm...maybe the body to fit into it too! haha :)

On that note, I'm going to start doing Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred on Friday (May 1st)...I really want to just lose about 10 lbs. It'll make a huge difference I think! :)

Hmm...

Yesterday I was trying to make a post with this collage I did referring to a few questions you type into Google Images...but it wasn't working..so I gave up! Hence the blank entry...sorry.

Last night was rough, I'm not really sure where it all came from. I went home and was getting ready to work out...I thought I'd try one of my pilates DVD's that I hadn't done in a while. Like a good workout person, I started to preview it before I tried it so that I can make sure I could do it all without problems. Well, I fell asleep... :( I woke up right before Steven got home from poker. I fell like poo about it! Really disappointed in myself....so this stemmed into a self-confidence issue and I just cried...and cried...and cried some more. Steven didn't know how to help me, got frustrated, and went to lift weights...which made me feel even more like poo! In the end, I just had a horrible night with no confidence at all.. :(

I need a new motivation..something to tell me that I'm doing things right. But stress has been getting the best of me...I shouldn't stress though. I should just let things be the way they are and live life the best I can. No use worrying about everything...

Easier said than done....

One of those days...

You know when there's those days that you just want to scream and tell everyone to F*** OFF! Well...it's one of them today! I tried my best to keep a happy disposition for the morning..and did so successfully. But when I went home at lunch, Steven was immediately a jerk (he apologized for it) and turned my happy mood into a horrible one.

I'm now just feeling down and don't want to be here...Steven brought me food but I really really don't want to eat...

It's times like these that keep my eating disorder alive... I'm not sure why I let my mood dictate so much... I just can't help it...

Skin transplant!?

Is it possible to get a skin transplant!? If so, I WANT ONE!

Ha...okay, not ha....my skin is breaking out in hives yet again...I have no idea what it is...I haven't changed a darn thing in my life!!!! :( I just really hope the joint pain doesn't come with it this time...I would be sooooo sad..more sad than I already am about it!

My arms, lower back, chest, and thighs are getting the blunt of the hives right now. Its itchy...annoying...gross looking....I just want it to go away again!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to wallow in my itchiness and cry now... :(

April showers...

I'm waiting for a true Spring around here! Thus far we've endured a blizzard and our typical crazy weather patterns of 60 degrees one day and then 30 the next! Oh well...keeps us on our toes!

Steven was VERY sick this week so it's been pretty quiet and calm around the house. He just slept on the couch for two days and I catered to him as much as I could. Today, I'm feeling kind of drained but I think thats just because it's kind of been a long week.

Easter should be good. My parents and brother went to Nebraska to spend it with my dad's sister. I wish I could have gone, but because of work and my random's I'm not able to really go very far. Soooo, Steven and I are going to head down to Denver and spend it with my mom's parents. I haven't seen that side of the family since Thanksgiving, so it ought to be good! PLUS, its the first time that any of them are meeting Steven...haha :) He's kind of worried about them judging him since he's all...well, hardcore...with his mohawk (which is growing out into a faux-hawk) and everything. But I don't think they'll judge him badly because he really is an intelligent and respectable person when you talk to him.

I'm hoping that my sudden workout gusto keeps on keepin' on...haha. I really enjoy that "runner's high" after the fact...but absolutely hate the running!!! Who doesn't?! So, the best that I've been doing is working my butt of at work in the warehouse...and then walking the dogs for a couple miles when I can! Oh, and hitting in the batting cage with Steven pitching to me. All in all, I'm getting there...maintaining a weight that I hate...but at least not gaining...

Radio...

Well, Steven should be on the radio within minutes on KFKA 1310...Greeley's local news radio! :) Luke, the show host, just did an introduction on it and mentioned me for helping him learn about MMA and cagefighting! :) He said, "...and thanks to his lovely lady Kendra for helping me learn about it all..."

HAHA, I WIN! ;)

So, I'm going to be spending my afternoon here at work listening to this interview...I'm awfully excited about it! :) And I hope Steven isn't as nervous as he kept getting last night!